Finding the ideal mate (scientifically)

Fellow pups, thank you all so much for your many and various responses to the question I posed last month, when I asked you to tell me what attracts you to a potential mate.

In good time for Valentine's Day, based on the data you kindly provided, plus my own unique in-depth analysis using specially devised scientific algorithms, I can now exclusively reveal the perfect, evidence-based formula for a successful partnership.

It seems that to appeal to the 'typical' (I refuse to say 'average') Blogville citizen, you need to be:

PLAYFUL (this is absolutely the most important thing) + WELL ACCESSORIZED (e.g. a ball, a bucket and spade, a sharp suit) + POSSESSED OF DESIRABLE PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES (long legs, nice tail and sexy ears are particular priorities) + BEHAVIOURALLY COMPATIBLE (e.g. both enjoy being treated like royalty) + RESPECTFUL OF OTHERS' SENSITIVITIES (not all pups like to play rough) + A GOOD HUNTER (effective rodent killing seems to be a preferred trait, especially amongst the terriers) + ROTUND (indicating access to a great food supply - impressive logic there Stella!) + OPEN WITH YOUR EMOTIONS (not a problem with most pups, I suspect).

What else did I learn?

(1) Diva cats (yes I am thinking of you, Mayoress Emeritus Madi) are picky, picky, picky.
(2) Although many dogs are open to a romance with different breed groups, there does seem to be a tendency for terriers to favour other terriers.
(3) The delicate topic of neutering was, perhaps surprisingly, only raised once and in general one must conclude that the lack of, er, 'equipment' does not dampen romantic ambitions.
(4) It is well known that dogs as a species vary more in size than other animals. Amongst most Blogville citizens, common sense prevails and partners of approximately the same height are generally sought.
(5) Finally, full marks to Aunty Yam for pointing out that us four leggers are SO MUCH better than our humans at keeping things simple and straightforward in affairs of the heart.

I trust you found this analysis helpful. Wishing you all the best for February 14th…

My darling Addi 

Respectfully,
Bouncing Bertie Boffin
(Director of Scientific Affairs).

PS Addi, you are the only girl for me...

Why I loved my HGD

My Human Grandad, Gail's Dad,
Was modest, true and kind.
For four years our lives overlapped,
He'll stay for ever in my mind.

He always loved to be outdoors,
And thoroughly believed
That walks with me were only fun
If I were off the lead.

He saved lamb shank bones in the fridge
For when I came to stay.
He loved to watch me on the lawn
Gnawing contentedly.

He could have been a dog, you know,
So loyal, trusty, steadfast.
Devoted to family,
In affections, uncomplicated.

He always smiled his special smile
On seeing Gail and me.
His deep blue eyes lit up
And sparkled curiosity.

I never heard him angry once.
Even towards the end.
His carers all used the same words,
"He is a lovely gentleman".

He rests now in the soil near home,
As peaceful as he lived.
And thinking of him, there is joy
Dancing beside the grief.

The worms will now be gentle too,

Nourished on his gentle flesh.
The grass will thrive, the blackbirds sing.
Even the badgers will show respect.