Friday, 6 February 2015

Finding the ideal mate (scientifically)

Fellow pups, thank you all so much for your many and various responses to the question I posed last month, when I asked you to tell me what attracts you to a potential mate.

In good time for Valentine's Day, based on the data you kindly provided, plus my own unique in-depth analysis using specially devised scientific algorithms, I can now exclusively reveal the perfect, evidence-based formula for a successful partnership.

It seems that to appeal to the 'typical' (I refuse to say 'average') Blogville citizen, you need to be:

PLAYFUL (this is absolutely the most important thing) + WELL ACCESSORIZED (e.g. a ball, a bucket and spade, a sharp suit) + POSSESSED OF DESIRABLE PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES (long legs, nice tail and sexy ears are particular priorities) + BEHAVIOURALLY COMPATIBLE (e.g. both enjoy being treated like royalty) + RESPECTFUL OF OTHERS' SENSITIVITIES (not all pups like to play rough) + A GOOD HUNTER (effective rodent killing seems to be a preferred trait, especially amongst the terriers) + ROTUND (indicating access to a great food supply - impressive logic there Stella!) + OPEN WITH YOUR EMOTIONS (not a problem with most pups, I suspect).

What else did I learn?

(1) Diva cats (yes I am thinking of you, Mayoress Emeritus Madi) are picky, picky, picky.
(2) Although many dogs are open to a romance with different breed groups, there does seem to be a tendency for terriers to favour other terriers.
(3) The delicate topic of neutering was, perhaps surprisingly, only raised once and in general one must conclude that the lack of, er, 'equipment' does not dampen romantic ambitions.
(4) It is well known that dogs as a species vary more in size than other animals. Amongst most Blogville citizens, common sense prevails and partners of approximately the same height are generally sought.
(5) Finally, full marks to Aunty Yam for pointing out that us four leggers are SO MUCH better than our humans at keeping things simple and straightforward in affairs of the heart.

I trust you found this analysis helpful. Wishing you all the best for February 14th…

My darling Addi 
Bouncing Bertie Boffin
(Director of Scientific Affairs).

PS Addi, you are the only girl for me...


  1. Lookin' at dat mug, I can tell you two are a match made in....

    Well, somewhere....

    1. then you two, stop stirring......or I may have to get stern-aunty on you.... Yxx

  2. An excellent research report! Well done Bertie. Having said that, it would appear that MYFinnie-Pie and I are the exception to the rule: I (Wally) am a Scottie, MY Finnie-Pie is a Golden Retriever. I am short and MY Finnie-Pie is tall (LOVE that about her). I love that we don't fit the norm!
    See you next at the dance next Saturday,
    Wally (and Sammy)

  3. Another excellent bit of research. Brian Cox would be so proud! We think playful is top of the list. We know Addi is playful.

  4. Gosh Bertie, you are very clever, that's an amazing bit of research very succinctly summarised.
    That means me and Chester are pawfectly matched doesn't it?
    Loves and slightly confused licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

  5. We think your research would give Brian Cox a run for his money. You and Addi make a sweet couple. Have a fabulous Friday.
    Best wishes Molly

  6. Hari OM
    Bravo Bravo (applaws....)... Just as predicted, you have reported fully and appawpriately on the matter of matching. I am certain that many will now be assessing their pawspects...

    Thank you for being balanced an fair in accounting for all who pawticipated in your survey - further to my offering at your time of request, and for those who perhaps have not seen it, a post was given specific to communications (click here) and all should be on the alert as at this time next week a post will be made on MEnUs for taking relationships forward.

    Thank you again your Boffinship for your diligence; do pass my regards on to your assistant for her impressive presentation also. Hugs - errrr- polite bowings and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

  7. Bertie your PS is so romantic, sigh

    retro rover

  8. MOL MOL MOL Bertie...and yay for Yam Aunty...she is correct pups are very open minded loving all they need to change or try to improve on that.

    Bertie clapping wildly at your observation that we femail cats are very picky picky picky and sometimes we change the rules mid stream. Any suitor must remain on his toes and dot all his i's.
    Once again you scientific findings are 100% correct
    Addi is one lucky girl to have found you.
    Hugs madi your bfff

  9. Once again, kudos on the great report.

    Gus n' Teka

  10. excellent research indeed and very insightful :)

  11. And THIS is a pawfect example of WHY you are our Scientific Advisor... WELL DONE.
    BUTT we will say that Leg Length is not Necessary to being romantic... Just sayin. Your SHORT LEGGED Dachshund Furends, F & E

  12. Wow, Bertie excellent reporting! I think everyone will be interested with the Doods' party right around the corner. I'm so lucky that Yente Ruby took care of hooking me up with Cinderella. She's great and must use the same information you use. :)
    BTW: Your header pix is totally gorgeous!

    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, Police Commish

  13. That's an excellent summary, Bertie! Although the size rule is not always strict. My girl, Maggie Mae, is a fellow boxer and about my size, but I've dated other girls before her that were much smaller. One of my best dates was with Ms. Hazel, a pug!

  14. I know what you mean about compatible size... but when I was a young lad, I fell in love with the beautiful Princess Willow, a black and whte and pinhk Great Dane, and I have never recoverfd from that (seemingly unrequited) love!!!

    xxx Just Harry

  15. Very interesting! Terriers prefer terriers because no one else can keep up with them, right?

  16. Thank you. We feel a bit more smarter today. Oh that Addi is gorgeous
    Lily & Edward

  17. Oh, Bertie, I really enjoyed your careful, well-supported analysis. I am writing a piece for work right now that I can only hope will match the standard you've set!

  18. We knew we could count on you for scientific research of the love connection! Well done!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  19. Interesting, very Interesting!
    The Mad Scots

  20. Now, if mum would just allow us to date we'd have all the info we need. Sigh. She probably doesn't want any grandpups just yet. And she wouldn't be able to get them from us cause we've been "tutored", BOL.
    No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

  21. We always enjoy your scientific analysis Bertie!! Thank you so much for putting this study together!
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

  22. Hmmm. I am going to take your scientific evidence under consideration while checking out the gurls at the dance on Saturday. I typically don't like to be fully committed to anything, but perhaps if I found the exact right match??