"Phew. It's only diarrhoea..."

It's very odd.

In common with most dogs, I occasionally get a tummy upset. Infrequently in my case, but it does happen. 

I'm guessing that many of my fellow pups will, like me, have noticed how when one demands urgently to be let outside in the middle of the night, one's human sometimes struggles to be sympathetic.

They can be quite cross even. 

Last week, when there was a night time 'occurrence' in our household, I was trailed round the garden by Gail in her pyjamas. She was holding a torch and anxiously leaning over and peering underneath my belly to check my 'waterworks' function.

I could have told her she was barking up the wrong orifice...

But you know what Gail said when she finally stepped back and noticed a somewhat liquified stream of brown emanating from the below the tail area?

It was a most surprising reaction.

"Oh Bertie, thank goodness, I'm so pleased, it's only diarrhoea..."

PS from Gail: given Bertie's bladder cancer diagnosis, I am hyper-vigilant about his pattern of peeing, watching closely and dreading any change. So when his uncharacteristic need to go outside in the night turned out to be a case of 'the runs' (which thankfully turned out to be short lived), I think readers will understand my relief.

The vet looked with distaste at the bag of runny poo...

...and politely suggested to Gail that no, he really didn't need to examine it just now.

Oh yes, I have been told to warn you not to read this over breakfast. But I think you'll have worked that out for yourselves by now.

You know, I've been feeling just hunky dory, but for some reason my, er, 'rear end emissions' have taken on a life of their own this last week.

Cue a visit down the road to the vet's on Monday.

Aren't they supposed to like sticking their hands up cow's backsides and all?

Not this one.

He gave Gail a tube of 'stopper upper' to put on my food, and said that's £50 thank you, he'll be fine.

For some reason Gail seems nervous about the train ride down to Nottingham later today.

I, of course, am looking forward to seeing Human Granny and Grandad.

Where were all you Lhasa Apsos?

Well I'm pleased to report that my eye is fine, and Gail has advised me not to dwell on the week's other medical 'issue'. Let's just say that the washing machine has been working overtime, in line with my bowel movements....

Instead I'm going to tell you all about today's walk, our annual outing with the Grampian Tibet Support Group. 

This is the fourth year running I have participated in this sponsored walk, and you know what struck me today? 

Yes that's right. Where are all the Tibetan pups? Do they not support their country's fight for independence? I mean, any park in Aberdeen is awash with Lhasa Apsos and Shih Tzus. We see the occasional Tibetan Terrier, and I feel sure that there must be a few Tibetan Spaniels and Mastiffs in NE Scotland too. Yet over the years the only dogs I've seen join this special walk have been collies, Labradors and retrievers. Oh and maybe there was a border terrier one time. 

Well today I was the only dog of any breed taking part, which of course guaranteed plenty of welcome attention. 

Earlier Gail had suggested that, as I hadn't been well, I might not be up to the planned nine miles and we would have to turn back if  I showed signs of flagging. 

Me. Flag? 

I don't think so Gail. 

The only flag involved today was the Tibetan flag which members of the group draped from the top of the tower on  Scolty Hill. 

For some, this was the day's highlight, but oh my gosh, from my perspective, something far more exciting happened as we were about to have our picnic lunch.

Do any of my readers recognise this incredibly gorgeous Sheltie?

Yes of course, it's Pippa, my only Aberdonian dog blogging friend, out with her assistant Eve and the rest of the family, who just happened to have chosen the same spot for their Sunday walk. It's Pippa's 2nd birthday tomorrow. I do hope she's going to get some nice presents and tell us all about it.  

I was so thrilled by this chance encounter that I bounced all the way back to the car park. 

What a great day! 

"Squirty Bertie" protests

It's not nice is it, when you are suffering a bad dose of the runs and your human just goes around making stupid rhyming 'jokes' ...

And then, no soon as you're better, she goes off for a couple of days cycling in the Far North of Scotland with her pals (who, frankly, from the evidence of this photo taken outside the Invershin Hotel, appear to be showing the effects of having ridden all the way from Land's End in the last two weeks...)


And as if that weren't bad enough, it appears that she enjoyed the company of other dogs at a lunch stop in the Crask Inn, north of Lairg....


Then the final straw. She says that on the way back home she saw this porker in a field and his black patches reminded her of me....