Watch out for the giant pandas...

Oh gosh Gail, I see you have a new pair of socks. And might I say, what an excellent design. I'm guessing they were a gift?

Your guess is spot on Bertie. A Christmas present from my friends John and Françoise in fact. Wasn't that thoughtful of them? The are super comfortable too, being made from a blend of cotton and bamboo.

Bamboo! But Gail, that is what giant pandas eat, is it not? Oh no, I'm so worried! What if you ran into a panda and it attacked you for your socks? Just think, Tian Tian and Yang Guang in Edinburgh Zoo might at any time escape and head north, and they would obviously be very hungry after rampaging up the (bamboo free) A90 for over a hundred miles...

Bertie, you are being ridiculous! The only panda we are likely to see in Aberdeen is 'Panda', my childhood toy, who is sitting on the mantelpiece. 

Hmmmm. I hope this is true Gail. And by the way, I'm thinking you weren't the most creative child when it came to naming your toys, were you? You had two teddy bears, Mr and Mrs Teddy, I believe. And a lamb named Lambkin, and a golliwog (which, may I remind you, is very politically incorrect these days) known as Golly?

Right, as always, Bertie!