Wisdom acquired

Winter at the Model Boat Pond

Once a gangly tangle, of legs not well controlled,

A skinny frame and fuzzy puppy face,

Eager to explore, not wise, too bold,

With joyful bounce I leapt onto thin ice...

A nasty shock ensued, the ice gave way,

The model boat pond water chilled my core,

I panicked, and my limbs would not obey

My frozen brain, I could not reach the shore.

Gail to the rescue! Her long arms 

Reached out and grabbed me firmly round the trunk

And saved me from more self-inflicted harm,

And hard I learned the dangers of a winter dunk.

So ten years on, and sensibly attired,

My Nordic sweater proof against the chill, 

I calmly pose beside the frozen pond, wisdom acquired.

Of reckless youthful capers, I have had my fill!

 

An age old debate

On the eve of my tenth birthday, I have been arguing with my owner about which of us is now oldest.

Those of you who read my post from 25 November 2018 will be able to calculate Gail's current age. Others will have deduced it from the picture above and the fact that she possesses a slide rule...

The question is - how old is Gail in dog years? (By the way, I can never understand why it is usual for dog years to be converted to human years - surely doing it the other way round shows a proper sense of priority...)

So according to conventional wisdom, 1 dog year = 7 human years, which by my calculations and in appropriately dog-centric terms, puts Gail at a relatively youthful eight and three quarters.

However, for smaller dogs, a ratio of 1:6 is often used, and by this measure Gail would be more than ten years old, so a wee bit older than me.

To confuse matters further, one sees charts like the one below, which are all very well, but slightly tricky if, like me, you weigh between 9 and 10 kg, thus right on the boundary between small and medium size.

Finally, you may have seen it reported last year that a team from the University of California, San Diego, conducted a highly scientific study based on DNA methylation etc. and came up with the following formula*:

Human age = [ln(dog age in years)x16] + 31

But as this research was conducted using exclusively Labradors, I think we can ignore the results for now, more especially as they suggest once again that I am the oldster round here...

Fellow pups, do tell me, are you still the baby of the household or do you claim senior citizen status?

*The mathematically inclined among you will already have worked out that according to this formula, at a nanosecond after birth the dog will be age minus six! 

Older and wiser?

We are all growing older, I fear.

Yesterday afternoon Gail took me for a walk round Durris Forest. It's been a long time since we were last there - over four years, I'd say.

Apparently on that previous occasion I chased a deer into the dark depths of the conifer plantation. Gail claims I "shot off like a bullet"  and did not come back when called. She says she spent ages looking for me, and was really worried 'cos it was winter and it would soon be dark and ours was the only vehicle in the car park.  

[I have to say, this is not how I remember it at all. Not for the first time, I find myself wondering if my owner suffers from false memory syndrome.] 

What is true, I admit, is that when I was a young pup I was firmly convinced I could chase down even the biggest of stags, if only given the chance.

These days I am older and wiser, and am aware that my dreams of deer-hunting were a tad unrealistic given the discrepancy in leg length. In retrospect, it was all a bit of a waste of time and energy, wasn't it?  

So anyway, Gail has decided to reinstate Durris Forest on our list of nice places for a weekend walk, hence the outing yesterday. 

Our favoured route is circuit of just over seven miles. 

It seemed shorter four years ago. And it was easier in those days to bounce into the car at the end of the walk too...