You can't fool me

So we are in the park early. Gail says it's to enjoy the sunrise.

Frankly I would have stayed cuddled up in bed a little longer. 

Back home, I observe a familiar sequence of preparations before Gail disappears for a few hours.

I settle down on the sofa and patiently wait.

When Gail returns she murmurs endearments, says sorry she was out so long, and I get an affectionate ear scritch.

But she doesn't look or sound sorry. And the hi-vis jacket is a dead giveaway, confirming my suspicions that my owner abandoned me in favour of going for a bicycle ride with a friend. 

And her rosy cheeks and cheery demeanour are frankly rather irritating.

Life's ups and downs

So on Sunday I was dragged away from this…

And returned home to Aberdeen to face this...

And if having the decorator in all week wasn't bad enough, I have just learnt that yet again I am shortly to be abandoned for a week in favour of this...

 And consigned to a so-called 'Pet Haven' where the daily regime looks like this…

Hmmm.
As the song goes, "Things Can Only Get Better".

Detecting a worrying pattern of behaviour

I don't know about you, but I watch my human very carefully indeed.

Any deviation from the normal pattern of behaviour, and I'm onto it like a labrador sniffing a treat-filled pocket from half a mile away.

All summer (well what passes for summer in these parts) Gail has been out on her bicycle every weekend for a few hours, and sometimes in the evening after work too. I'm not saying my walks have been neglected, but the snuggling on the couch together time has not been happening quite as much as I would like.

These last few weeks, the bicycle-related absences have been getting longer and I notice Gail has been returning with a face redder than the frame of her second favourite possession (after me).

I note also there have been purchases of what I believe are cycling jerseys, short sleeved  and of material so thin that if you wore them in Aberdeen you would be hypothermic before you'd ridden to the other side of Duthie Park. Long disregarded sunglasses have been excavated from the back of the box room. High factor suncream has made an appearance on the kitchen table.

On the MacBook, Gail has bookmarked Google Earth and the other day I caught her looking at the profile of the 'Loup Loup Pass' on a website called Strava.com.

I think Gail imagines I haven't worked out that for me this betokens imminent abandonment and a spell in prison.

Humans can be so naive.

FFHT June: Alternative Realities

I knew I needed a good excuse for not taking part in Murphy and Stanley's FFHT this month. And I have one.

It is that I have been abandoned(1), poorly foot and all(2), by Gail, who is living the high life(3) in London(4) this week(5).

Footnotes by Gail:

(1) "Abandoned" as in being cared for by neighbours Kirsty (a vet), her husband Mike and their two amiable dogs, border terrier Bonnie and miniature poodle Jack. Bertie will be having a blast.
(2) "Poorly foot" as in, thankfully, nearly better foot (although vigilance is still clearly required).
(3) "High life" as in being sequestered in an office besides Gatwick Airport, inspecting data on some Norwegian oilfields for the Kuwaiti Government? You decide.
(4) "London". As I said. Actually an office block next to Gatwick Airport.
(5) "Week" as in two days / one night.

Apologies. We will try to do better next month.