Aberdeen South constituency news

Please come here Gail, I have a question! I see our MP has put his newsletter through the door. It says he's quite wonderful. What do you make of that?

Well Bertie, in general, Members of Parliament find it expedient to remind their constituents of their existence when they fear that an election might be pending.

So you'd vote for him next time then would you? After all, he says he's campaigning for a fair share of government cash for Aberdeen. That has to be good, doesn't it?

Harrumph...

Why are you harrumphing Gail?

Well Bertie, have you noticed that in this newsletter, our MP is entirely silent on by far the most significant issue facing the nation right now? Not a single mention of the 'B' word.

How very puzzling Gail. Why on earth would he not want to be talking about Brexit?

Bertie, one does not, I think, have to be Sherlock Holmes to find the answer to this particular conundrum. Ross Thomson is the Scottish Conservative's biggest cheerleader for a 'hard' Brexit, but represents a constituency, Aberdeen South, which voted 68% in favour of remaining in the EU.

Hmm. Yes, even I, a dog, can see that might be a problem for him. But look Gail, he is supporting a ban on electric shock collars for us pups. Is that not just as important?

I am sorry to be so cynical my lad, but it strikes me as a desperate attempt to, er, 'collar' the dog owner vote. He'll be out kissing babies next. And for sure he's hoping that everyone's forgotten about those reports of him being ejected from a House of Commons bar late at night a couple of months ago, accused of being drunk and of 'inappropriate touching' of other men in the bar.

Wow. It seems to me that the more one knows about Mr Thompson the less inclined one would be to vote for him. Oh dear Gail, whatever happened to that nice Anne Begg from Labour who used to be MP round here? A thoroughly admirable person. Maybe she could be persuaded to stand again?

Oh Bertie, if only.

Look, I found this on Anne Begg's Twitter feed. Our readers might be bored of us going on about Brexit but I'm thinking they will enjoy listening to Anne's friend Alastair Campbell playing bagpipes.