And look how patient I am posing for photos, even in the rain.
Now it may not come as a surprise to folk who have met Gail and Yvonne, but I can exclusively reveal to the rest of you that for this pair of friends, the main point of exercise is to enable them all the more to enjoy a good nosh-up in the evening.
So I am delighted to report that just a few miles from the cottage in the remote village of Diabaig, we have a most welcoming restaurant.
It turns out that on Saturday evening I was not the only dog to be invited along.
I must say, Patch's people were so much better dressed than mine. Look at that fine kilt.
And what's this? A wedding frock!
Patch told me that the couple had been married in something called a 'humanist service' on the old stone pier at Diabaig earlier that day. Gail seemed to approve. I sure hope they had some big umbrellas.
Yes I know, it is quite unimaginable that Gail could have been so cruel. Ok, so there was the small matter of a noisy altercation with Patch while Gail was chatting with another customer at the restaurant (a nice man from North Carolina).
But I notice that Patch was allowed to stay, which I consider quite unfair.