Pet grooming versus nuclear fusion

Bouncing Bertie Boffin here!

Gosh you learn can some interesting things watching the telly can't you?

Now you might think from this wee video clip that I was not paying attention last week while Gail was entranced by her hero Brian Cox pontificating about science, energy resources and the future of mankind.

But can bet your bottom dollar that my flappy little ears pricked up when I heard Professor Cox assert the following:

"Americans spend ten times more money a year on pet grooming than they do on nuclear fusion."

I think some criticism was implied.

Well my friends, what to make of this?

As we know, an explosive release of energy can sometimes result if a muddy dog is confronted with a tub of warm water and a bottle of shampoo.

However is a settled fact in the Bertie and Gail household that very little money is spent on pet grooming. It costs nothing to rinse a pup in the River Dee after all.

But before Gail starts to look any sort of smug, I ask her just how much of her hard earned cash went on nuclear fusion over the past twelve months.

This elicits a rambling response about paying taxes and government funded scientific research, blah blah, blah, all of which amounts to an admission that the hairbrush she purchased from Pets at Home back in February might have cost more than any indirect contribution she's made to solving the world energy crisis.

Fellow pups, I am wondering if we might start a campaign. Next time your owner threatens you with a 'spa day', why not suggest instead they put their pennies in an envelope and send them off to their nearest nuclear fusion laboratory…?

How else will we secure a carbon-free energy future?

Remembrance Sunday in Wester Ross

We were headed to the beach today but Gail insisted we pause first at the Remembrance Sunday ceremony in Gairloch.

It was at the war memorial besides the Free Presbyterian Church.

I was standing there all quiet and respectful but Gail was still worried she might be condemned to eternal damnation for filming the 'Wee Frees' on the Sabbath.

Of course I made friends as always and there was no problem.

One last look at the poppies...

And it was off to Gruinard Bay.

Yes, this really is Northwest Scotland in November! 

At the centre of things...

Enzo - Bertie - Malachi (Duthie Park, 2 November 2014)

A near perfect park experience

We arrive at Duthie Park shortly after sun-up.

It is the unrushed weekend.

First encounter is with a Weimeraner, his harness being held firmly by an anxious owner. I steer clear and focus on leaf sniffing.

The brown-skinned runner flashes past. We see him circuiting the park every morning. Gail admires his lithe movement.

Next we meet more regulars, deaf Sheila and her blind and diabetic wee schnauzer Sadie. They are walking round with Ida, whose indeterminate-breed sheepdog Trixie sniffs Gail's treat pocket. Sheila comments on Gail being out without a jacket in November. We are invited to admire Sadie's new haircut, which is smart but I fear might give Gail 'ideas'.

A passing border terrier, a newcomer, rolls over on his back immediately I approach. His owner laughs, and says his dog needs to "man up".

We are lapped by the brown-skinned runner.

Further round, both Gail and I are attracted by the sight of a pretty, fine-boned and fluffy grey pup, about the same height as me. OK, I'll admit, I am more attracted by her smell. We learn she is a Bedlington/whippet mix. Oh she smells nice. I am accused of getting frisky and my lead is clamped on until she is a safe distance away.

As we reach the park gates, I spot my Goldendoodle pal and race over to say hello. His owner notes that the incident with Jake has not made me fearful at all. Gail tells her I was a bit more growly with other dogs for a week or two but now seem back to normal.

The runner passes us one more time. Gail resists the urge to stop him to ask how many times he circuits the park each morning and instead gazes back in appreciation as his handsome athletic form rapidly recedes.

Walking home along the street we meet paper delivery girl Arizono with her border collie. The collie sports a tasteful tartan neckerchief. Arizona wears a tiger-striped onesie. The cartoony outfit cannot hide a sad face. This girl from a troubled home was fostered by Corinne, a kind lady living four doors down from Gail. Corinne died of a brain tumour earlier this year. Gail says hello to Arizona who for once looks up and acknowledges the greeting and even smiles, briefly.