Something fishy about Scotland's future?

Can one trust the statements of a party led by two piscine politicians?

Alex SALMONd (leader of the Scottish Nationalist Party)

Nicola STURGEON (deputy leader of the SNP)


Whereas you have to love a campaign called Better Together and led by a man with the name Alistair DARLING. After all, there's nothing wrong with having some white furs and some black ones.

I, Bertie, am coming to the conclusion that Scotland is BETTER TOGETHER with the rest of the UK.

And I think our First Minister Mr Salmond needs to be PUTIN his place. Give that man a ticket Moscow.

PS: Whilst Gail agrees with my sentiments, she is worried that I am trivialising the issue. But do my friends really want to read more about sterling currency union, EU membership, bank debt and rapidly (and inexorably) declining North Sea oil revenues….?

In the Park and In the Pink

OK, so this last one is on the way home from Duthie Park.

It seems Angus is right about French customer service

Apologies to those readers who do not follow Bob and Sophie's French Adventure. (But really, why don't you? It's brilliant).

For several years now, Gail and I have been hooked on transplanted Scotsman Angus's account of life in rural France and the antics of his Polish lowland sheepdogs, but I have to confess, we have occasionally wondered if Angus was being a bit unfair in his implied criticisms of the local attitude to customer service.

Now, ever since she returned from her Jura holiday, Gail has been going on and on and on about what a wonderful time she had in France, especially when she met up with Bicontinental Dachshund Tootsie (my doggy godmother) and her family.

But yesterday, she let slip that there was one incident of slight unpleasantness, amusing in retrospect, but which supports the impression given by Angus's blog.

So Gail and Tootsie and her Mom and Dachshund Daddy had arrived at their accommodation in Mouthe, 'Le Chalet de la Source du Doubs' mid afternoon on Good Friday. By then the weather has turned quite nasty. On entering the chalet they were promptly pushed back out into the cold by a cross young woman telling them not to wake the baby. After a short while, Dachshund Daddy, a fluent French speaker, braved re-entry only to be ushered outside again the proprietress who grumpily pointed to a chalkboard by the front door and said: "You speak the language. So read the sign!"

And yes indeed, there it was, a sign giving instructions for new arrivals.

But how hard would it have been to say a few words of welcome to the guests and tell them which bedrooms they were in?

You know, my adorable godmother Tootsie has quite short furs, and it upsets me to think she was forced to wait around in the chilly weather by this not so friendly person.

Tootsie, if you came to visit me in Scotland, you would be embraced with open arms. And paws.

Tail envy?

Really, there are few situations in life which are not improved by having a tail.

Now Gail is questioning whether my readers (with the obvious exception of esteemed Mayoress Madi), will bear yet another post on the topic of my rear-end appendage.

Do you think she could possibly be suffering from Tail Envy?

It must be so limiting, to have to use just your facial muscles to express joy, anticipation, delight, friendliness, uncertainty, vigilance, anger and fear, do you not agree?

I am thinking that all those not-so-young actresses with faces immobilised by botox might get hired again, if only they were able to access a nicely flexible tail to help convey emotion.

And did you know that us wire-haired fox terriers really are very special and unique in this area of anatomy?

It's not only that we don't mind a bit if you tug at our tail, quite hard, in a way which would cause offence to most pups. According to Gail's vet friend Kirsty, when (heaven forbid) WFT's are put under anaesthetic, our tails twitch in a manner unique to our breed*. Isn't that something else?

Some folk, e.g. dog show judges, would claim I am over-endowed, tail-wise.

Clearly, that is a ridiculous concept.

*Gail was intrigued by this snippet of terrier lore, and later asked Kirsty if the trait had been documented anywhere, but was disappointed to learn the evidence is merely "anecdotal".