Inscrutable? (And thank you Jill)

You know I felt quite hurt the other day when I overheard Gail saying to a friend that she doesn't think I have nearly such an expressive face as Hamish did.

Then I thought about it a bit more and decided  I must be mysterious and inscrutable, and that is altogether preferable, isn't it?

But now Gail is laughing as she types this for me, and saying "Bertie, you are about as inscrutable as Gwyneth Paltrow on Oscar night" and explaining what she meant is that I communicate my emotions using my whole body, and do it very effectively.

Well I hope that you can see my delight here at receiving a positive response to my recent request for promotion.

Oh I am just thrilled to bits with this letter I received from the Volunteer Coordinator Jill at the VisitWoods project, which arrived a few days ago, along with a most prestigious certificate. (You will want to click on the images to biggify them so that you can read them properly, I'm sure.)

Jill has now moved on to bigger and better things at the Woodland Trust, and I think I speak for all my fellow volunteers when I say that she has done an absolutely magnificent job for VisitWoods Scotland, we loved working with her and wish her all the best in her new role as People Engagement Officer. I am certain that the Woodland Trust have made the perfect choice and will benefit greatly from her enthusiasm, energy, organisational ability and lovely manner. What a super lady. Here she is in action:

So now it's time for me to go and check out a new wood!

Ashentilly Wood: mud, mud, glorious mud...

Well I was so keen to get going with my new AWGV* job, I said to Gail, look we can't wait until it's sunny, after all this is Scotland, we might be waiting, like, forever.


Finally she relented and we went, during a pause between heavy downpours, to investigate Ashentilly Wood, ten miles out of Aberdeen and just off the South Deeside road.

Now some friends have been trying to advise me on how to go about my new role. Advice which I considered and then rejected. (Apparently a friend of Gail's once described her as having an 'advice resistant personality type' and happily this is a trait we share).

Bossy Stella told me to "just try not to get carried away with your opinions". No opinions? Me? Can you imagine? Quite ridiculous. Stella, that's like telling the Tea Party in the USA to try to be tolerant for a change. Or George Osborne telling UK voters that "we're all in it together"....

I want you to know I consider it my role to provide the op-ed counterpart to the boring fact-based report Gail writes on the VisitWoods website. Clear?

Anyway, back to the woods.

I did come close to acting on Deccy's intriguing suggestion to pee only on yellow flowers. Too close in fact. Deccy have you any idea how prickly a gorse bush feels on the bum? Oh you do. It was a practical joke. I get it. Hardy har. Not.


Personally I find that a delicate cluster of wood sorrel provides a more pleasing 'facility'.

A mossy bank by the side of the track is just fine too.


Isn't it strange though, and rather sad, how humans seem to miss out completely on the best aspects of a wood.

One can have so much fun negotiating the muddiest paths ...

And rolling around in the less delicately scented woodland offerings. (Believe me friends, this isn't mud...)

But I absolutely can't agree with Gail that it is a plus point when a wood has a clear running stream just close to the car park...

...where a dog can be immersed in near freezing water and "cleaned up a bit" prior to being transported home.

*AWGV - Assistant Web Guide Volunteer for the VisitWoods project. See also previous post.

My very important new role with VisitWoods

Oh I just am so bursting with pride, I must tell you all about this.

I have a new job. It's going to be the most tremendous fun.

I have been appointed 'Assistant Web Guide Volunteer' for the Woodland Trust's VisitWoods project.

OK, I admit it is an unofficial appointment, but Gail is a real bona fide volunteer, and I am going to help her, so that counts doesn't it?

What does it all involve?

Well the idea, basically, is to encourage people to go out and enjoy our country's wonderful woodlands. The project has a website listing all just about every wood you can visit in the UK. You can follow the link and search for a wood near you. No, not if you live in Australia, or the USA, or South Africa, don't be silly!

The volunteers' job is to add content to the website: photos of their local woods, plus comments and information relevant to visitors (car parking, special features, flora and fauna, terrain, amounts of mud etc. etc.)

My unique role, of course, is to add the canine perspective.

For example, last month Gail and I visited Tollohill Wood just a stone's throw from Aberdeen city. You can see her comments and photos here.

But she didn't say anything about the sheer joy of romping around, in freedom and safety, sniffing out every corner of this splendid little oasis ...

inspecting the fallen trees ...


and those that look like they're fallen but aren't ...


and pausing briefly in the stripey sunshine ...


before rushing off to indulge one's natural fox terrier instincts.


Apparently volunteers are expected to comment on the toilet facilities too...

 Most excellent, I would say.

We shall be visiting more woods in the next few weeks (if ever it stops raining). Watch this space.