Over Here....

So our four American guests arrived on Wednesday and when I saw their luggage I was most relieved. It was quite clear Gail had been winding me up about them bringing their bicycles all the way from from Washington State and cycling around Scotland.

Well just imagine my horror when I found out what those suitcases contained...



Yesterday they all went off for a 'shake down' ride to Drum Castle and back, and I stayed at home. As they headed down the road I heard Gail shouting "don't forget, keep on the left!"


PLEASE don't tell anyone this, but between you and me, I was quite grateful for a spot of peace and quiet, unaccustomed as I am to having my home invaded by such talkative folk.

This morning our guests plus bikes have departed for Edinburgh (by train!) Gail tells me she'll be joining them in the Scottish capital tomorrow, when the planned "leisurely" bicycle tour around Scotland begins in earnest.*


Maybe they'll come home early if it rains?

*Gail says: the plan is to ride along the Forth-Clyde Canal from Edinburgh to Glasgow, and then head north along the 'Lochs and Glens'  route from Glasgow to Inverness. Normal service on the blog will resume in ten days time. Meanwhile, Bertie will reside in comfort at Neil and Yvonne's house.

Worrying signs...

I guess you might be looking at the photo above and thinking that all is well with Bertie's world just now.

How wrong you would be.

Yes OK, I'll grant you, Gail did take me for a nice walk along the cliff path south of Aberdeen on Sunday afternoon and the sun was shining and the sea uncommonly blue.

But if you look closely at the photo you will perhaps spot faint clouds on the horizon...

So first of all, I might point out (and as those of you who know your geography will have already realised) my shadow in the above picture falls in a seawards direction, thus east, indicating that it was well into the afternoon when my walk took place.

Earlier in the day, Gail had, without so much as a 'by your leave, Bertie'  disappeared off on her bicycle for several hours, muttering something about needing to get in shape as her four cycling friends from the USA will be coming here a few days time.

Apparently Gail has planned a ten day tour, riding around Scotland, and I am to be abandoned to the tender mercies of neighbours Yvonne and Neil...

I shall be reporting on the arrival of the Americans in a few days time.

Gail tells me I am being wildly optimistic in hoping these fine folk will find me so inordinately cute that they will insist on fixing a dog carrier to one of their bikes and taking me along with them on the tour.

After all, I only weigh 9 kg. (That's just under 20 lb in American money...)

Advice for Americans in Scotland?

So Gail, what's this I hear about you organising a bicycle tour in Scotland for your American friends in May next year?

Yes indeed Bertie, that is so. (I see you have been peeking at my emails again.)

Well Gail, as one who was so nearly picked as Ambassadog a couple of years ago, I feel duty bound to try to ensure your guests enjoy our fine country to the full. May I ask a few questions?

Fire away little Bert.

OK, so you are starting in Edinburgh. I am guessing your friends have romanticised ideas about castles and so forth. Perhaps you should suggest they watch 'Trainspotting' or read some of Ian Rankin's crime novels, so they develop a more rounded view of our capital city before they arrive. That way we can avert disappointment, I feel.

Er, yes, well, maybe Bertie. Or maybe not. Anything else?

Oh yes, plenty. I understand that cyclists enjoy their food and have good appetites. Have you considered the breakfast arrangements?

Well of course Bertie, our hotels and B&Bs will inevitably serve generous portions of porridge, I'm sure.

Um, so are you also sure that folk accustomed to breakfasting on tall stacks of blueberry pancakes with butter and maple syrup, and maybe a side order of eggs 'over easy' and bacon, will find oats boiled in salty water a satisfactory way to start the day? I somehow doubt it.

So then Bertie, we can always add in some tattie scones and black pudding to fuel us up the hills if necessary. So what now?

Oh, it's just occurred to me, am I correct in thinking Americans drive on the right? Will they not find our traffic most confusing?

Bertie, rest assured that my friends have travelled all over the world with their Bike Fridays, and they are a capable and resourceful bunch. Why one of them is a retired USAF pilot, so I'm confident his spatial skills will run to figuring our which way the cars are coming from on a roundabout.

Point taken Gail. But another thing - I do hope they will come prepared for our weather. I mean, even Canadians complain here about how the dampness and wind makes everything feel colder than indicated by the thermometer.

Don't worry Bertie, I shall tell them to pack a full set of waterproofs and thermals. And at least we can assume that the bike trip will not have to be cancelled due to forest fires, unlike the last two occasions I have visited the USA.

Well Gail, I think we have covered enough for the time being. Oh, just one final issue - I believe your friends have said they are interested in visiting historical sites along the route. Now readers of this blog will probably already have deduced that history is not your strong suit, at least not unless it involves rocks that are hundreds of millions of years old.  Might I respectfully suggest you spend some time between now and May swotting up on kings and queens and battles as so forth, to avoid being a total embarrassment as a tour guide. Look, I found this on your bookshelves - a good starting point I think...

PS I am delighted to report that, although I shall not be taking part in the bicycle tour, at least one member of the American group has stated her intention also to come to Aberdeen for the express purpose of meeting Yours Truly.

A team effort and a question

Readers, I guess you might be wondering how things are going with my paws, after I had so many problems with painful interdigital cysts earlier in the year.

Well I'm delighted to report it's all good news!  When Gail took me for a follow up visit with dermatology specialist Peter Forsythe on Friday (in Aberdeen not Glasgow this time) he carefully examined the skin between the pads and said he was really pleased 'cos there were no signs of any soreness or infection and, basically, everything looked hunky dory.

I could claim the credit for the improvement, as I've been so good about tolerating all the paw washes and the poking around making sure not one tiny grain of dirt is left in even the deepest cleft between my pads.

But, I will concede, Gail is also to be congratulated on her persistence in making sure that every single day, even when she has to get to work early, she never omits to go through the now well established paw cleansing routine after my morning park walk.

And then of course, we have to recognise the contribution of Mr Forsythe, who took the time to consider my medical history, examined me carefully, and then applied his expert knowledge and judgement to work out the likely source of the problem.

So really, the fact that my paws are now in finest of fettles is down to a team effort - so often the best way of solving a seemingly intractable problem, don't you think?

Oh and talking of team efforts (or not..) I have a question for my readers in the USA. Watching the TV news this week, I am, frankly, puzzled.

You see, whenever Gail tells me about her time working in your country, and about the friends she still has over there, she says how almost all the Americans she's met have been kind, polite, considerate and gracious in their behaviour.

So it is disappointing to find out that across the Pond there are several humans in positions of power  who are setting a very different sort of example.

How could this happen? I am, I admit, confused.