Isn't it strange how some subjects are considered suitable ones on which to flex one's poetic muscles, and others are not?
Take last Saturday's walk for example. OK so I was happy enough to wax all lyrical about the glorious freedom to roam the Aberdeenshire hills (see previous post) but what I really wanted to commemorate was another aspect of the walk entirely.
I was getting some way towards describing in verse by far the most thrilling aspect of the day's outing when Gail stopped me firmly and said, "Bertie this is absolutely not all suitable."
I hope you'll agree she was being unfair....
How fine it is to sniff
A decomposing hare,
Oh what a pungent whiff,
Just nothing can compare.
I raced across the heath,
And there I found, its rank
And fetid guts hid right beneath
A gorse bush on a bank.
They lay before me in a state
Of sumptious putrefaction.
When Gail caught up it was too late,
I'd gorged to my full satisfaction.
When further on the walk I tried
To kiss Gail with my slime smeared nose,
She backed away in horror, cried,
"UGH BERTIE, DO NOT COME SO CLOSE!"
bertie that is a miracle... we are those with the sensitive nose but nevertheless humans say we stink...I mean if we can stand a smell with our 220 millions of scent cells, how can humans even notive that smell with their pitiful 5 millions?
ReplyDeleteHari Om
ReplyDeleteBertie lad, that was a wonderful depiction of a sensory experience - for both of you - so I cannot understand Gail's objections! hugs and wags YAM-aunty xxx
Me neither. Toodle pip!
DeleteOhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh My Word I give Gail 100 for touching on all our senses here today. I think I even caught a wiff "of fetid guts hid right beneath"of the decomposing hare over here on this side of the pond.
ReplyDeleteSo inquiring minds need to be clear...
you gave it a TASTE? Talk about morning breath? YIKES?
Hugs Cecilia
Gail says: the full truth is that when I caught up with Bertie his mouth was crammed full to bursting with slimy intestine, so revolting I could not bring myself to try to pull it away from him. So yes, he swallowed the lot. Rather to my surprise, aside from the smell, there were no significant negative consequences!
DeleteSo glad to hear that there were no “negative consequences” other than the smell. Teka has a habit of “negative consequencing “ on the rug at about 2 am
ReplyDelete"Negative consequencing". Bwahaha!
DeleteHumans are SO weird!
ReplyDeleteWe feel your pain, Bertie. A week ago, sadly a deer got hit by a car along the road we walk. He was catapulted onto the grassy area. Mom avoided the area until animal control picked up the poor deer, but oh what a delightful smell and debris that deer left on the grass - it was truly heavenly. BUT the Momster made a big detour around that wonderful spot and ruined our fun.
ReplyDeleteWoos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber
Ahhhhh, the Poet Laureate of Scotland. Such a wonderful poem of an exquisite experience.
ReplyDeleteThat is quite an ode to the decomposing hare you found on your walk. We're glad you didn't have any adverse effects from your indulgence.
ReplyDeleteAh, Bertie, I believe the Poet Laureate of Aberdeen, nay Scotland, awaits thee!
ReplyDeleteOh my, that was quite the vivid description Mom almost had an adverse reaction BOL!
ReplyDeletehugs
Hazel & Mabel
What a beautiful poem BErtie...we have no idea why Gail wouldn't think it was suitable.
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Rosy, Jakey & Arty
Oh Bertie, the peeps just don't understand. Can you believes Ma gagged?? I thinks she pictured Moi with the guts in my mouth, my beard, my snooter, then doing my famous head shake/slobber fling! where all the nice gut slime would go in her hair! I don't see the problem. I truly thinks you are the bestest poet evers!
ReplyDeleteKisses,
Ruby ♥
The slobber fling? I must try that one some time!
DeleteToodle pip! Bertie.
You have never made a decomposing hare sound so delightful, my friend!
ReplyDeleteHey Dude Bertie...dad if Madi here
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to tell you how much I thoroughly enjoyed your most manly poem. It was as if I was there in the grand hunt w you
Jumping manly chest bumps
Bryan aka dad of Madi
Oh thank you Bryan for these encouraging comments. I do worry that my occasional urge to write verse might be considered a bit, well, you know, unmanly!
DeleteToodle pip! Bertie.
Oh how wonderful. That is a terrier-ific poem! We can imagine ourselves right there with you. ❤️ Wyatt and Tegan
ReplyDeleteBertie,
ReplyDeleteYour adventures are literally poetry in motion (no pun intended), although from Gail's additional comments there was no motion to report. BOL!
Riley