Wednesday 23 May 2018

Normal service resumed?

Gail has just returned from her trip cycling around Scotland with her friends from Washington State, and it seems she has very little of interest to report. 

It's a well known fact that all the best holiday stories involve some sort of catastrophe and frankly I don't want to hear about how the weather was unbelievably warm and sunny and everywhere they stayed was lovely and the people friendly and no-one even had puncture until the final morning just before boarding the train in Inverness...  and I don't expect you want to hear about it either.

I was a little disappointed that there were no reports of encounters with the local wildlife...

....But I am most relieved that Gail rejected outright the offer of a kiss on the lips from Maya, the wee terrier lass who was watching the Scottish Cup Final in a bar in Kingussie on Saturday afternoon.

Surely, Gail's refusal was all about wishing to remain faithful to me, and had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that she had earlier seen wee Maya licking her own nether regions with vigour?

I am now hoping that Gail has exhausted her urge to travel across the country on two wheels for the time being, and will soon revert to her proper job of taking me for nice walks and feeding me treats.


  1. oooh we love that sign... and what a super idea to have a partner town what fits so fabulous... wish we would have such funny names here too... but apart from Moron our towns and villages have boring names...

  2. Hope yer Momma gits back to takin' care of bizness-- which should be YOU, not gal-a-vantin' all ovfur da countryside on two wheels, bol, bol!

  3. Hari OM
    BOL.. oh Bertie lad, I know you are bouncing with brightness now that your Gail is back. I remember seeing that sign when we travelled that road together... only thing was it was during the more Scottish season of wet and wetter!!! Those Washingtonians are going home with entirely the wrong idea about the place, don't you thnk? They may be encouraged to visit again. Meanwhile, get Gail out and about with you as much as you can! Hugs and wags YAM-aunty xxx

  4. Welcome home Gail. It sounds like a great trip..not for the cycling part, but because of the no catastrophes part!

    Having crossed the US twice with my late brudder Gussie, I know how catastrophes can strike, and I can now take my travel as an only dog, sans catastrophes.
    Give old Bertie a hug

    TEKA Toy

  5. WooooHooo your assistant is home get that whip cracking. We are so glad she and her USofA friends had a wonderful time in Scotland.
    We want to know where you took Neil and Yvonne and if they were well behaved and caterer to your every Bouncing Desire..
    Hugs madi your bfff
    PS mom said Maya is adorable and says Gail showed considerable restraint

  6. Oh yes...looking after you ever needs should keep Gail very busy, too busy to go galavanting!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

  7. We are glad to see you are back to "normal", Bertie:) You are too funny - we loved your post!

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

  8. We're glad Gail is home and order is restored. SHE wonders if Dull and Boring have as much trouble keeping their signs as Fucking, Austria--a place SHE'd love to visit. BOL!

  9. Glad that all is back in order at home and Gail can return to doing your every bidding!
    Hazel & Mabel

  10. Dear Bertie,

    I am glad your person is back! I am also glad she did not accept kisses from any other dog. I hope she sticks on two legs for a while, as you say, getting back to the important job of finding the Most Awesome Walks Ever for you! Because you deserve them!


  11. All in all, a rather uneventful trip, and rather boring if the truth be known. You can relax Bertie, safe in the knowledge that you were better off staying with Yvonne and Neil. You had a much better time !

    Inca xx