Gail has just returned from her trip cycling around Scotland with her friends from Washington State, and it seems she has very little of interest to report.
It's a well known fact that all the best holiday stories involve some sort of catastrophe and frankly I don't want to hear about how the weather was unbelievably warm and sunny and everywhere they stayed was lovely and the people friendly and no-one even had puncture until the final morning just before boarding the train in Inverness... and I don't expect you want to hear about it either.
I was a little disappointed that there were no reports of encounters with the local wildlife...
....But I am most relieved that Gail rejected outright the offer of a kiss on the lips from Maya, the wee terrier lass who was watching the Scottish Cup Final in a bar in Kingussie on Saturday afternoon.
Surely, Gail's refusal was all about wishing to remain faithful to me, and had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that she had earlier seen wee Maya licking her own nether regions with vigour?
I am now hoping that Gail has exhausted her urge to travel across the country on two wheels for the time being, and will soon revert to her proper job of taking me for nice walks and feeding me treats.