Ambassadog result: One lovestruck fox terrier...

Within moments of arriving for my Ambassadog interview at Prestonfield House, my heart was all a flutter.

Some of the others on the shortlist were frolicking with a ball, but I had no time to waste. There was one particular dog I was keen to meet.

I'd watched and admired her wee video. But when I saw her in the flesh I realised that nothing could have prepared me for such overwhelming beauty.

Oh my word was there ever a more fragrant rear end? It was love at first sniff.

Gail tried to get me to socialise with the other pups...

...but Fenton, the Sheltie from Shetland, was the only girl for me! Oh what a vision of loveliness! And yes, I was thrilled to learn she really is named after "FENTON!!!!" of YouTube fame. Such distinction...

I just couldn't leave her alone.

OK so the other pups were cute and stuff,

And golden retriever George from Glasgow, the winner of the Ambassadog title, is undoubtedly a handsome fellow (and surprisingly well-mannered, for a 'Weegie'…)

But oh I have eyes only for Fenton.

Saying goodbye was almost more than I could bear.

As soon as I arrived home, I was onto the internet and looking up timetables. The next ferry to Shetland leaves from Aberdeen Harbour this evening.

Can anyone offer tips on how to become a stowaway? Would it help if I wore my Shetland wool jumper?

PS from Gail: when Bertie has recovered from his overwrought state (and apologised to Addi for his shockingly unfaithful behaviour) he will tell you about a rather more cerebral adventure inside Prestonfield House.

If not wolves...a thought experiment

I think I mentioned that I chased some red deer up a Torridon hillside last Saturday.

My version of events (and I am sticking to it) is that, after a few minutes' excitement, I heroically overcame my lupine genetic inheritance and, obedient chappie that I am, rejoined Gail on the footpath and allowed the deer to escape my clutches. I am confident you will recognise any alternative version, for example to the effect that I got tired and panicked 'cos I thought I'd lost Gail, as a ridiculous fabrication.

Now let us consider for a moment the broader issues here.

Point number one: it is almost universally agreed that Scotland's red deer population is out of control, resulting in over-grazing of both crops and trees, to the detriment of the country's economy and ecology.

Point number two: one reason for the explosion in numbers is that wolves have been extinct in Scotland for around two hundred years, thus deer have no natural predators.

Point number three: schemes to reintroduce wolves to Scotland have been shelved, due to concerns from farmers and lack of space.

So I have been conducting a wee thought experiment.

What if us dogs were allowed to run free in the hills and take on the wolves' historic role?

Surely this would work just brilliantly.

After all, there are a lot of us pups in Scotland, so we could take turns in order that we also could fulfil our domestic pet duties. With regular exercise chasing longer limbed prey, the current canine obesity crisis would be solved at a stroke, and problems caused by dogs suffering from boredom and under-stimulation would likewise be a thing of the past. With a regular supply of free venison, plus antlers to chew of course, our owners would have to stop whinging about the cost of kibble and treats.

Yes I really am convinced that I am onto something here. I would be more than happy to organise a pilot project in the Torridon area. How about I invite Fenton up to Scotland to inaugurate the scheme? A little ceremony involving the cutting of a lead might serve as useful PR. Perhaps a prize could be arranged  for the first chihuahua to bring down a Monarch of the Glen?

The more I think about the idea, the more I like it.

What could possibly go wrong?

PS from Gail: A big thank you to all those who suggested remedies for Bertie's sore paw. I am pleased to say that time and rest worked their healing magic and forty-eight hours after the epic hike he was back to his customary bouncing self. But I have ordered a tub of 'Bag Balm' to keep in reserve for the next time I under-estimate the distance and roughness of a walk in the hills!