So with my human spending her evenings in front of the telly, transfixed by the exploits of the British Olympic track cycling team, I decided to do some background research on my rivals for Gail's attention, multiple gold medallists, Laura Trott and her fiancé Jason Kenney.
And you know what? I am beginning to think maybe cyclists are not so bad after all.
Look, here are Laura and Jason earlier this year, taking time out of their strenuous training schedule to visit the Dogs Trust Manchester, a charity caring for homeless pups.
Awww. You can see Laura's a genuine dog lover. Clutching this adorable fellow, she looks as happy as if she's just won yet another gold medal.
Here's Laura back home with one of her own two Sproodles.
You can feel the love can't you? (I hope Jason's not jealous).
This is what our world-beating cyclist said to a reporter before she left for Rio.