Thursday, 2 January 2014

Post-Hogmanay Aberdeen

It is after nine a.m. on the 1st January 2014 and Gail finally rouses herself to take me for my morning walk.

Such tardiness is highly unusual in this household.

I heard a lot of loud bangs last night while Gail was out. She had told me not to worry, the noises would just be fireworks, but it turns out she was wrong.

I can exclusively reveal that a neutron bomb has hit my home town.

How else to explain that the buildings are still standing but human life is absent this morning?

As I enter Duthie Park, I finally spot something moving, unsteadily. I suspect a zombie but Gail insists that it is alive and human and tests her theory with a cheery "Happy New Year". The creature covers its ears with its hands and mumbles that it needs to take things quietly this morning…

Then something even more extraordinary occurs.

I am allowed to walk back from the park along the streets without my walking string attached! Gail responds to my quizzical look by pointing out that, with the complete lack of traffic, she thinks it a good time to test my compliance with the 'heel' command. I decide to stick close to Gail's ankle, hoping to lull her into a false sense of security which I can take advantage of on a future occasion.

Later in the day, we go for the traditional New Year sandblast promenade along the city beach, and I have to concede that my neutron bomb theory may need modifying.

I am now thinking that a miasma of some poisonous substance descended on Scotland in the night, from which the citizens took time to recover.

Using my forensic expertise, I have deduced that a chemical weapon, code named C2H5OH, was responsible.

Happy New Year!


  1. Bet the streets were deserted Bertie and I bet everyone is having a good lie in today. Have a tremendous Thursday and we hope you had an awesome start to the new year.
    Best wishes Molly

  2. Hari OM
    OMD Bertie you got it...I spotted the wide spread use of the said chemical and noted its effects so kept well away from it myself. This involved use of masking agents such as salt, sugar and cranberry juice. There are other side effects from these, but definitely not the stupefying ones induced in my co-habitors!!

    BTW - although a shade tardy, that was a good call-back and sit you demonstrated there. Loved the piccie of you at the top of the sea stairs too.

    A hearty welcome to 2014 and wishing you and Gail all that is right in the world. Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

  3. Happy New Year to Bertie and Gail, all the best for a great 2014
    That's some scary formula Bertie! Perhaps you could research a cure?

  4. We are sure something closer to your second guess is true. Have a great day. Lee and Phod

    What a lovely place to walk (well maybe not in January) but Mom loves to watch the sea. BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO WE ENJOYED YOUR VIDEO STROLL and your attempt to make friends and keep up with the big black pup and most of ALL bravo for being such a smart boy to come with Gail called. I hope you rec'd a multi treats for that.
    hugs madi your bfff

  6. Hmmmmm we ponder over the storage happenings too...there appeared to be a lot of noise and then the next morning..nothing....we are thing ufo's came and took all the peeps away

  7. Bertie,
    You showed remarkable restraint to come away from that jogging dog. And with such style! Loved your bounce at the end.

    I, too, was a bit surprised by the lack of traffic yesterday (both on foot and by automobile). The good news is that it was so peaceful and lovely that we did an extra long walkie.


  8. It was quite quiet around here yesterday also, but no one suggested we take our usual 6:00 ayem walkies off lead! I am beginning to think that Dad has the right idea and we should all retire to somewhere in the UK.


  9. Bertie- If you thought Aberdeen was quiet you should have gone to Peterhead ! 10 out of 10 for being out and about on the Aberdeen seafront in winter .

  10. It's a good thing Gail had you to protect her from those zombies, or poisoned people or whatever!

  11. WOWZERS it looks cold there, Bertie! You did such a nice recall in your video! Happy New Year!!

    -Bart, Ruby and Otto

  12. We believe it is all due to that COHOL guy... We have heard his furst name is AL butt that could be a myth.
    BRAVO on the Free Range Walking.. and your grand Plan fur the future... Peeps are SO easy to Fool.

  13. Strange doin's in your town. Ours was very quiet as well..but all of our friends showed up at the river, so we dogs were okay.

    We could hear that wind...felt good! Last night it got down to 22°C and we're heading to 43°C today! More hibernating after a trip to the river.

    Happy New Year, Bertie (we're very impressed at your recall skills when chasing that dog).

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  14. Howdy Bertie. Our town too was totally deserted and so quiet it was a bit spooky. We thought we would bark out a welcome to the New Year and help everyone get out of bed. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory
    P.S. We loved your video too and the sprightly way you ran and bounced back to your Gail.

  15. Whew, you were right, that wind was a blowing. Boy, you sure got Gail fooled about that doing what she asks. Next time it's all clear to run around like a nut and bark like mad! Yep that alky man struck here also!

    The Mad Scots

  16. Dear Bertie, old chum, I am so so impressed at that come and sit response. I can never ever show that video to my mom or there will be trouble in our house!!!! Even if it was a trick, it was pawsome!!

    Wirey love,

    Just Harry

  17. I enjoyed coming along on your New Years tradition walk

  18. Bewtie
    It's not just Scotland..that C2H5OH, must have hit Boo da Pest too..I too was stunned at evewything closed and no hoomans to be seen till quite late in the day..the ones who finally venshoowed out, only came out aftew dawk..thank dog youw skientific expawteese has calmed my feaws of end of life
    smoochie kisses

  19. What a lovely place to walk! I wouldn't ever want to leave!

  20. Happy New Year to you both - Gail and Bertie. I hope that 2014 is going to be an easy year and that you will be surrounded by the love and support of your friends.
    Bertie - glad you got to walk off-lead. What a way to start 2014. Lotsaluv from all of us.

  21. Bertie,
    Happy New Year, and good grief! I completely agree with you! Unfortunately, I had an excellent view of the bomb from my window, although I didn't quite understand what it was then. Those people at the beach must have been very lucky survivors!
    Haha, I thought you were going to just bounce off with that very motivated lady, but it seems you're a very obediant doggie!
    Pippa :)
    P.S. No skinny dippers in the sea?

  22. Bertie it's gone global because something was up in new jersey as well
    Retro rover

  23. Oh Bertie, we think there was a C2H5OH epidemic that night. It was in full swing over here as well. Not as exciting as a neutron bomb though. *sighhh*

  24. Bertie, you are so smart. We would have assumed the people were hungover, like around here :D

    Wyatt and Stanzie

  25. I must confess I had to Google C2H5OH. No people in the streets? It must be all co(h)ol...