Monday, 16 September 2013

Bragging rights to Horatio?

Bertie, you weren't being too friendly with your wiry pal Horatio when we met up for a walk with him and his family near Braemar on Sunday. Now why was that?

Gail, have you ever won anything at athletics? Can you list any major sporting achievements?

Well, er, Bertie, before we go into that, I would like you to answer my question first.

Oh Gail, Horatio was being quite insufferable today. Gloating about how his owner Amanda is now a world famous athlete, having won the Crathes Half Marathon the day before. Saying she is going to be in all the papers - well the Press and Journal at least - and how this makes him, by association, the top dog around Deeside at the moment.

Now Bertie, I think we should all be celebrating Amanda's awesome achievement. I trust you told Horatio how impressed you were?

You've gotta be kidding Gail. No I pointed out that he was looking a good bit tubbier than when we last met, and probably wouldn't himself be winning any marathons any time soon. I thought it was supposed to be kinder to tell the truth and so I called him a lardy-arse...

Bertie, you didn't! That is so rude. I hope Horatio rose above it all.

Absolutely not. He started on about how come I style myself Bouncing Bertie when his brother Harris Vizsla was that very moment demonstrating bouncing around in the heather to heights I could only dream about.

Well yes, Harris did put on an excellent display of bouncing I must say. I'm only sorry I didn't catch it so well on camera. 

Now going back to your sporting triumphs Gail....

Bertie will you just leave it alone? OK I did win a few 100 m races about a zillion years ago. And you've seen the dust gathering on that racquetball trophy from when I worked in Oklahoma. School hockey colours? Yes. Then remember I came in 3rd in the 'females 50-59' in the 100 km Cycle Sportive event last May. It's not so much, I admit. In truth Bertie, I have always been more of a 'competent all rounder' type, rather than a top sportswoman. 

Ha ha ha, is that an 'all rounder' like Horatio, ha ha ha?

Very funny Bertie. Not. Oh yes and I now I remember, what ever were you thinking of, embarrassing me by peeing on Scott's wellington boots right as soon as we met up?


And Gail, please explain that nonsense by the wee loch, when you kept trying to get me and Horatio to 'pose nicely' with Amanda and her twin sister Fiona?

Sigh. I guess I just thought it would make a fun photo Bertie. Why do you always have to be so difficult?

Me, difficult? I think my readers will come to a different conclusion.


  1. Not this reader, Bertie, you are always difficult, always!

    Remember the Thunder Support Group? Kept right at it until my Mom gave up.


  2. What couldn't she do a WHOLE marathon!!! Harris and Horatio should be honoured to even know you!!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  3. Hari Om
    Difficult? Nooooooo...individual, free-spirited, eccentric, adventurous... Not so good on the home-defence front, but then again maybe you would make a good diplomat. Or just a welcome mat?

    Still you are loved, dear Bertie. Loved despite is love with might.

    Gail - This crazy canine brings light to life in blogland. How much more so must he do so for you in the flesh - foibles and all!! Hope this week is looking brighter for you.

    Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

  4. Bertie, lad, no doggie bounces like you. It isn't just a matter of height or frequency, but also craft, which you have in spades. How horrid that your Gail seemed to take the side of Horatio, who is a bit spherical and certainly not entitled to gloat over the accomplishments of his master.


  5. Difficult? Never Bertie and boots are meant to be peed on aren't they? Have a marvellous Monday.
    Best wishes Molly

  6. Don't worry Bertie. Our Muzzer never won any sports prizes either. Well, except 28 years ago she was the only preg a nunt lady to finish a marathon. And they made her a special ribbon, right there and then. But she knows they were just having a good laugh, so it doesn't count.

    We think you should have (ooops) pee'd on Horatio's head. Happens to Teka on occasion when she gets out of line.


  7. Bertie it sounds like Gail got you. She WAS a bit active and athletic back in the day. Speaking of fat arses, mom said I have one. Tell that man peeing on boots is good luck
    Benny & Lily

  8. It was so good of you to defend your momma's honor, Bertie! I can't believe she's being so ungrateful about it all.

  9. I think it's quite right to be a bit bold toward others right now...after all Gail did chastise you about not speaking up and there was that whole reference about German Shepard Dog replacement. Just tell her you are 'manning' up all around. Best to practice on friends so you will be in fine form in case another intruder alert needs to be sounded. Congrats to both Gail and Amanda on their recent athletic endeavors.
    Bonnie n Kenzie

  10. Bertie bless your heart you were just trying to defend Gail during Horatio's boasting spell.
    BTW I think I remember that Gail is one fine cyclist...riding many miles so many she wore out her bike seat?! Right?
    Hugs madi your bFFF
    PS Great pictures especially 'I pee freely on wellie boots'!

  11. We don't know your friend Horatio, but maybe he is bragging cause he feels bad about himself and he needs your love and support. Lee and Phod

  12. Hmm Bertie sounds like you were a bit harsh with Horatio...after all, we all like to brag on our Momz' accomplishments...If my Momz ever got off her butt and managed to just finish a half marathon i'd be barking the news to every pup i met...Let Horatio have a tiny bit of glory and then the balance of things will soon be restored

  13. oh Bertie - first THANK YOU for coming back and visiting us! Somehow, our mom had lost your blog addy. She's put it in the "must read" column on feedly now (whew!).

    Second, aren't humans just the WORST about, oh, everything?

    Third, OKLAHOMA???

  14. Bertie, thank you so much for coming to visit today! I will absolutely come clean your floors any time you want (food involved = I am there). Please don't pee on my hooves though, ok? I do that enough as it is. You really crack me up. Gotta stand up for those we love right?

  15. Oh boy - I'm just glad I don't have to compare my mum's sporting achievements...... coz I don't think there are any!! Does holding down the couch count?????

    Tail Wuggles, Rubie xxx

  16. oh no you peed on his wellies????

    Stop on by for a visit

  17. Bertie - Some boots are made for walking.; Others for peeing on.

  18. Bertie!

    I know dogs have to stick together, but I think Gail is very much in the right here, on all accounts.

    My mum has no sporting achievements at all.


  19. more thing...we loved your Nietzsche quote!

  20. BOL we don't think it was you who Peed on the boots.. It's nice to meet you Bertie and thanks for popping by to see us :) Hope wez can be buddies :) xx00xx

    Mollie and Alfie

  21. Bertie, you are never difficult, just handsome and kind :)

    Wyatt and Stanzie

  22. Bertie you just keep sticking to your bragging rights, you are top dog and I know how great are your accomplishments.
    Thanks for being a friend
    Sweet William The Scot

  23. Difficult? You Bertie? No, no, they've got the wrong dog! I think Horatio was just very proud of Amanda, like you should be of Gail, winning all that sporty stuffs! But he didn't need to keep bragging, at least you put him in his place, and how awful, making you take the blame for peeing on that mannie's wellies!
    Pippa :)

  24. Oh what a cutie! I was doing an utterly different google search and Bertie popped up. I've been addicted to woolly fox terriers since I had a toy one as a child. I had a terrier as a child. Long time now! I will save this to look at Bertie, when I feel yearning. ;-) PS... I'm in Morayshire. :-) And I belong to a blog event called Blogblast for peace. (Nov 4th worldwide) We have a lot of animal bloggers who take part every year. A load of Cats (mostly USA and Asia), one horse somewhere round loch Ness, and dogs. Maybe Bertie might be interested. Although "peace" and "fox terrier" are words that rarely go together! lol