Tuesday, 22 April 2014


A certain person had better not even think about going anywhere on her bicycle again any time soon.

Yes I have been in prison camp.

Yes I barked so long and loud I lost my voice but did anyone come to rescue me?

They did not.

You know, Gail, I am not interested in hearing any more about your bicycling holiday in the Jura mountains, about the glorious sunny weather, the spectacular limestone gorges, the delicious fondues, the smoothly surfaced and almost traffic free roads, the fresh green meadows resplendent with wildflowers, the endlessly fascinating conversations about the shortcomings of algorithms used in software to calculate elevation gain on cycle computer apps…

At least now I have regained access to my blog I can tell the world how unbelievably hurt I was to miss out on Gail's end of trip rendezvous with my Swiss godmother Tootsie (aka Bicontinental Dachshund). The fact that Tootsie is apparently so cute and well behaved yet also full of character only makes things worse doesn't it? If Gail thinks that I am going to post a whole bunch of Tootsie photos today, then let me tell you, she has another think coming.

And another thing.

How hard can it really be, to find a suitable terrier-friendly present to fit in one of those bicycle panniers?


  1. AND there appears to be loads of space for a WFT to run around and not get injured. You've been dudded, Bertie. Royally dudded.

    XXXOOO Bella & Roxy

  2. You didn't even get no present?? Dis sounds like animal cruelty, BOL!

  3. Bite those tyres Bertie, and you will feel much better!

  4. WE think you should Close your EYES and EARS to all the Claims of BEAUTY and Wonderful MEMORIES.. WE recognize it fur what it is...
    OUTRAGEOUS ABANDONMENT. And now that she has FINALLY managed to get you out of PRISON..she will no doubt expect you to Totally FORGET the 87 MONTHS of misery.... and start pawforming in the agility ring... as though NOTHING had happened.
    SHAME on HER.
    OH YES.... and WELCOME BACK, Bertie. WE have missed you.

  5. What she had fun and spent time with someotherdoggy and did not buy you a present? Scandalous. Have a terrific Tuesday.
    Best wishes Molly

  6. I can only say ONE thing: GAIL!!! WHERE IS BERTIE'S PRESENT????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Outrageous indeed.


  7. Dear Bertie,

    I'm sorry to hear you're so upset. We had a lovely time with Gail!

    I'm blushing because I hardly ever get described as "well-behaved" :)

    Godmoma Tootsie

  8. No present ...really....not even a cookie......we will submit her name to the "shameful owners" book straight away. It did look like a wonderful trip but still shameful you couldn't go.

  9. What, no dried sausage? Fire that woman Bertie! I know for a fact that they does very nice dried sausage over there cos TNP brings me some back when he goes skiing!

    I is glad Gail had a nice time though and the photos look lovely!

  10. Solidarity forever...we were dumped at camp this weekend too! We did not get any treats or goodies either. We are considering an uprising and would be happy to have your help.

    gus n teka

    pssst,,,,it does look like a nice place to visit. Maybe Gail needs a BIKE BASKET for the next trip??

  11. It sure does look like you missed out on some beautiful scenery!

  12. Oh Bertie, what beautiful places and you were left behind! No present just seems unfair. Revolution time!

  13. Oh Bertie! Not even a present? How unfair!

    Edgar and his mum

  14. This is an OUTRAGE!! I can't believe you were left in prison while Gail went gallivanting all over AND met your godmother! She's YOUR godmother, YOU should be the one meeting her!

  15. When I come home from camp, my voice is as hoarse as if I had been at a football game cheering for my team for hours on end. Mom thinks it's so adorable. And that I was having fun. They just don't get it, do they?

    Your equally suffering pal of many (prison) camps...

    Just Harry

  16. So she goes into that beautiful landscape and then comes home empty-handed?! Nothing for her most precious terrier? Unacceptable! There are plenty of presents that could fit in her pannier for you!

    For shame, Gail! For. Shame.

  17. Bertie - I'm sure you'll be getting sausage with your kibbles tonight.

  18. oh Bertie no present that is awful, but glad to hear Gail had a great time and she was lucky to meet Tootsie. You make the most of making Gail feel guilty Bertie and I am sure presents and treats will soon come your way.

  19. Hari OM
    Cripes, talk about rubbing your nose in it with all those piccies - well done on standing your ground about posting Tootsie portraits. Now you must show us piccies of the place you had to en-jure...

    Over here, be aware that shoes and tyres must remain firmly outside the door (and am one level above ground), but that should not deter any potential visitors!!! Good to see you and Gail reunited Bertie, even if you are in a slightly unforgiving mood at the moment. Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

  20. Bertie,
    Although I love the sound of the Jura mountains and think that Gail's pictures look beautiful, I must agree with you. It's no fun living in prison whilst Gail's cycling around in France, meeting none other than your very own godmother! I hope they fed you well and let you out in the glorious (and very unusual) sunshine we had in the holidays at the camp, and that Gail brought you home an apology with that imaginary present! Glad she had a fun time though!
    Pippa :)

  21. We are calling the authorities
    Lily & Edward

  22. Oh how typical. Mum was ooohing and aaaahing over the photos and not understanding at all about your being deserted by Gail. We can only hope you were rewarded for your misery. Treats, treats and more treats we reckon. We were thinking a backpack your size could fit nicely on Gail's back and you could yell encouragement if the other riders were getting behind. Next time Bertie, there's always next time. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

  23. Tough luck, Bertie, now you know just how important you are to Gail. Keep waiting for those treats!
    Wish you had brought back pics of the jail you were in.
    We're all grownups, we can take it.



  24. Welcome back Bertie and Gail!!! To make up for the Bertie, we think Gail needs to arrange a rendezvous with horatio and Harris at balmoral! We head up there on 6th June for a week :-)

  25. Poor poor Bertie! We are glad to see you back

    retro rover

  26. Because of our friendship, I refuse to comment on the beautiful pictures, fabulous mountain views, and glorious sunshine!!

    Ruby and Angel Pip

  27. <3 Great post & loved the pics!
    Smooches from pooches,
    BabyRocketDog & Hootie

  28. Bewtie..i am speechless..how coold she? Sending you to pwison instead of taking you along to those splendid places and to meet Tootsie..hwmphhhhh
    Smoochie kisses
    Pee ess..gail could make it all up to you by bwinging you hewe to visit me