A visit to Nottingham

Gosh it's been quite a while since I went on a long railway journey. Gail was worried even that I might have forgotten my "train manners" but of course that was not the case.

On finally arriving at Janet's house in Nottingham, I was pleased to discover a colourful new cushion and set about making myself at home right away.

Yesterday we went to see Human Granny and Grandad. I must say, they have a lovely spot for their final resting place. The parish burial ground is green and tranquil, and the warm (for February) fresh air was alive with birdsong as the sun fell gently on HGY's newly minted headstone.

We paused a while beside the graves, then after a romp across the heavy clays of the arable Nottinghamshire fields, our outing was concluded with a most satisfactory visit to the Old Ship Inn in Lowdham.

The day before, we had visited my poodle and human cousins. Gosh I think I could take some lessons from young Jonathan in the matter of rolling in the dirt...

Gail says she is sure Jonathan "scrubs up nicely" for his day job at Barclays Bank in Canary Wharf, and that however dressed, Human Granny would still think him the most handsome and wonderful young man in the world. However, we are both grateful to be travelling home to Scotland on a comfy train, and not in Jonathan's BMW 'track car' with its stripped out interior and, at the moment, no functioning shock absorbers...

What, no doggy bag!

Well Bertie my dear bouncy little pal, did you miss me when I was down in Nottingham this week?

Oh Gail, of course I did! Let me come and have a cuddle on your lap. I only pretend to prefer staying with Neil and Yvonne you know. But I want to hear about Thursday. Did you see lots of your friends and relatives? Please tell me that my poodle cousins Coco and "Fat Boy" Percy were not invited to Human Granny's funeral service.

Rest assured Bertie it was a humans only affair, at the church and in the pub afterwards. 

I believe it is usual to offer refreshments on these occasions? Sausage rolls and maybe even pork pies (after all Nottingham is not a million miles from Melton Mowbray). I don't suppose you brought a doggy bag back with you, by any chance?

Oh dear Bertie, I would have done, had the funeral guests - whose number exceeded our predictions by some margin - not scoffed the lot, down to the very last ham and pickle sandwich. I must say I admire your optimistic spirit, and am sorry to disappoint you. 

Well never mind Gail. I am so glad that lots of people showed up to pay their respects to my wonderful Human Granny, and I'm guessing all that hymn singing and praying and listening to tributes gives one a good appetite. But I notice you are looking tired.

Bertie you are a sensitive and observant wee chap. How about we go for our evening stroll around the block, and then turn in early tonight?

Suits me! Shall I tell you a secret? I sleep so much better when I can rest my little head against your leg. It's nice to have you back home in Aberdeen.

It's nice to be back Bertie, it really is.  

Goodbye to Human Granny

Wedding Day: 23 March 1956

Human Granny: 13 August 1930 - 21 March 2018

I called her Human Granny,
She sometimes called me Petsy,
I loved her tender touch,
And her kind and welcoming smile.

I wished I’d known her younger self,
That brave child aged nine, who was not seasick
When she crossed the Atlantic in 1940
In stormy weather, in wartime, to Canada.

They can’t have been easy, those four years away,
So far from her ‘Mummie’ and 'Daddy’.
She learnt to skate, to swim, to ski,
To be resilient.
She overcame her fear of Dick the Dog.

She was brave at the end too.

Toronto, 1940: HGY posting a letter to her parents in England

Toronto 1941: with Mr Harpham and 'Dick'

Thank goodness she packed my boots

So Gail and I are still in Nottingham, although you could be forgiven for thinking we had relocated to the Arctic these last few days.

First of all the snow settled on me....

... and later also on the street where we are staying with our lovely friend Janet.

At least Gail remembered to pack my new boots.

I think you'll agree they make for interesting paw prints.

If you followed Gail's footprints instead of mine, you would see she has been making lots of trips to the hospital to see Human Granny.

Last night she cuddled me close and told me that my beloved Human Granny has enjoyed a fine, long and interesting life but that it is now drawing to a close.

I did feel very sad, but then I remembered my important role as 'Cheerer-Upper in Chief', and bounced around until I was rewarded with a smile.

Definitely not Aviemore...

Er, but Gail, I thought you said we were going to Inshriach House, near Aviemore in the Cairngorm Mountains this weekend?

I do believe you have taken a wrong turn. This is most definitely not the Cairngorm Mountains.

I see. There's been a change of plan?

I must say I did not think it should take eight hours to drive a distance of less than a hundred miles...

Oh dear, you say Human Granny is in hospital again and is very seriously ill, so we have come down to Nottingham?

Well Gail, I guess we're now in the right place then.

And at least I won't have to deal with hyperactive border collie Hemp!

Gail, would you feel better if I gave your face fond lick?

PS from Gail: Difficult times. The blog may be quiet for a bit.

Bertie's Christmas good deed

Gosh I was really quite shocked when I went to visit Human Granny a couple of days ago and found that she was still writing her Christmas cards.

Although Gail had bought her a wide selection of nice cards back in October, it seems that HGY had only completed five out of her list of forty some.

Well you will be pleased to know that once I, Bertie, took charge, and told HGY that Santa only brings Thornton's Special Vanilla Fudge to old ladies who have written and sent all their cards before Christmas Day, things speeded up considerably (OK, so Gail did help too. She really can be quite bossy 'assertive' at times, you know..)

Happy Christmas to all our lovely blogging friends, and may you have a Simply Splendid 2018.

Greetings from Nottingham (er, burp...!)

Well I want you to know that Gail and I arrived safely in Nottingham. As usual we're staying with lovely, kind Janet, and I am having a fine old time so far.

Yesterday, while Gail was visiting HGY at the care home and helping her to write some Christmas cards, I accompanied Janet and her friend Steve for a drink at the Victoria.

Gosh it's a splendid place, the 'Vic', a proper 'local' with great beer (so I'm told) and a warm, friendly atmosphere.

I was so happy to be taken there. Everyone made a big fuss of me and it was all very jolly.

I really did not want to leave.

And later I begged Janet not to tell Gail that Steve had to carry me home.

It had absolutely nothing to do with the beer. Honest!

And no, this is not a picture of me 'sleeping it off'.

FFF: An autobiographical tale

Today I am entering YAM-Aunty's Final Friday Fiction challenge.

My source text is 'The Wind in the Willows' by Kenneth Grahame, and the phrases (from p87) to be used in my story are:

Line 8:  As a matter of fact I did none of it

Line 12: Well very long ago

Line 16: Here where we are standing

[Regular blog readers will recognise that my piece is, as is traditional for first fiction, strongly autobiographical. I do hope this is allowed.]

Pees and Prejudice 

Our tale today is one of injustice, reconciliation and forgiveness. It is a true story, which starts off, well, very long ago. The main character is a wee terrier puppy called Bernie, and we begin when Bernie went with his owner Gill to stay with his Human Grandma and Grandpa for the first time.

Now it is important to  to understand that although Bernie was a wee puppy, he was already very advanced in his house-training and he absolutely knew the difference between indoors and outdoors and which was the right place to take a ‘comfort break’. In fact the thought of soiling his indoor territory was quite repulsive to him (as it is to most dogs).

Unfortunately, Bernie's Human Grandma held fast to the prejudice that all puppies pee on the carpet, as he realised when he overheard the following interchange between her and Gill:

“Gill, there are some dark marks here on the rug, I think it must be Bernie. Look, right here, where we are standing…”

In response, Gill sounded a bit irritated. “Oh Mother, that’s just a trick of the light, see it’s not even wet, really you are imagining things again.”

If Bernie had been able to speak, he would have added, quite firmly, "As a matter of fact I did none of it".

But repeatedly throughout this and subsequent visits, poor Bernie was falsely accused of peeing on the carpet. He felt quite hurt, and was not sure he even liked his Human Grandma that much.

Now Bernie is an older and wiser pup, and his Human Grandpa is sadly no longer with us, he thinks he has worked out what was going on. At the time of those early visits, his dear Human Grandma was so worn to a frazzle caring for her beloved but by then very sick husband that she could barely think straight. She just knew that as a good wife it was her role to keep everything in the house clean and tidy, and was anxious lest she be found wanting in this respect. So her brain started conjuring up problems that weren’t real.

These days, Bernie's Human Grandma lives in a very nice care home and is no longer responsible for the housework, and she is much more relaxed and loves having Bernie to visit and never ever accuses him of peeing on the carpet. And so Bernie has forgiven his Human Grandma for all the earlier misunderstandings, as he  can appreciate that it was neither his fault nor hers that the issues between them ever arose in the first place.

Click here to see the link up to the other FFF stories.

And a big THANK YOU to YAM Aunty for organising this fun challenge!

Getting spiffed up for Granny!

Perhaps some of my readers are unaware that I am on a regular basis subjected to a quite onerous grooming regime?

You might be thinking, "Oh that Bertie, he sports the natural look; none of your fancy-schmancy poodle parlour business for him".

Well, it is indeed true that the concept of a 'spa day' is alien to both human and canine occupants of this household, and that my fur-do is not the result of the professional attention.

But make no mistake, just as it can take a long time for a certain type of human (usually female) to create the impression she is wearing no make-up, and some human males go to very great pains to cultivate a not-shaved-for-four-days look, it also follows that my 'rough and ready' appearance is underpinned by considerable and ongoing efforts.

Early in my puppyhood, Gail took the decision that she was perfectly capable of teaching herself - with the help of a demo from my breeder and the occasional YouTube video - how to groom a wire-haired fox terrier.

And that has been the pattern of things for the last seven years.

So the furs on my back, neck and haunches are hand-stripped by Gail - a matter which I tolerate if given a tasty enough long-lasting chew to distract me from the mild discomfort involved. Scissors are used for my underside, face and ears, and my legs are pretty much left alone...

Thing is, because Gail generally adopts a 'little and often' approach to the hand stripping business, it tends to go unnoticed - and, we feel, unappreciated - by the world at large.

Well I would like to point out that on Friday morning I was stripped and clipped for as long as my patience and Gail's mildly arthritic thumbs would allow.

The timing might have something to do with the fact that I'm going to visit Human Granny for a few days later this week, and she always complains if she can't see my eyes.

Anyway, I like to think I was looking pretty spiffy for my Saturday afternoon walk in the woods, and I'm optimistic about catching the attention of (treat-bearing) admirers on the train to Nottingham on Thursday.

Top notch Easter Weekend

As my regular readers know, I have come to expect excellent service on the East Coast trains when I travel between home in Aberdeen and visiting Human Granny in her Care Home near Nottingham.

But I must say, the conductor on yesterday's train back north excelled himself. After noticing that I was languishing on the floor while a seat was available next to Gail, he patted the empty seat encouragingly,  saying "Come up here Bertie; you'll be much more comfortable", and he lifted me so I could cuddle up to Gail. Then he took a nice photo of us (see below) and offered to fetch a bowl of water any time I should feel thirsty.

This is what I call Top Notch customer service.

In fact, it was all round a Top Notch Easter Weekend in Nottingham. Of course I got to spend quality time with Human Granny (whom we found in good spirits), played lots of tug-the-roadkill-fox with Gail's friend Janet, and on Easter Monday visited my poodle cousins Coco and Percy in Derbyshire.

I also met a most agreeable WFT called Teddy when out and about in Nottingham.

And finally, when taking a stroll between trains at Newcastle, I had good cause to feel grateful that I am a dog not a human...

Yes all in all, it was a totally spiffing Easter weekend.

PS Gail is betting that somewhere in the world someone is offering colonic irrigation for dogs...

Short but sweet

So several passengers could have slipped unnoticed through the ticket barrier at Aberdeen station while two of the staff kept me entertained and another disappeared for a few minutes and came back bearing shortbread..

It is a long train journey to Nottingham. For the first part of the ride, the Edinburgh and Newcastle bound Hen Parties kept me entertained...

But after light refreshments kindly provided by Virgin trains at Newcastle (although where were the complimentary dog biscuits Mr Branson?)...

...I settled down for a wee snooze. Which Gail assures me is the best way to travel through Doncaster.

Of course I was impatient to visit Human Granny...

And we enjoyed a mutually satisfying half hour together comparing notes on poorly paws.

Then Gail spent some time - actually quite a long time - instructing HGY in use of the laughably named 'EasyCall' device linking her hearing aid to her mobile phone...

And all too soon it was time to depart.

We head home to Aberdeen tomorrow. Gosh I hope it is not too long before I visit Nottingham again.

Empathising with Human Granny

Friends, I have most excellent news to report. My paws are finally feeling a whole lot better. I even ventured to run a short distance on the grass a couple of days ago. Yes, I actually ran! For the first time in over a month. Gail caught in on camera and says it is the best ever video of me (albeit only eight seconds long).

This coming weekend, Gail and I are heading south on the train, as a visit to Nottingham is overdue.

Gosh I am so looking forward to seeing Human Granny. She suffers badly from arthritis in her feet. In fact Gail says that aching feet have been one of HGY's favourite topics of conversation for many decades now, and so I am sure she will be full of sympathy for my recent plight. Oh yes, we will have much to discuss.

Won't that be fun, Gail?

Pre-chewed biscuit

Gail has pointed out that I have been very remiss in not telling you about Human Granny who, after all, was the main reason we spent the Christmas period in Nottingham.

Well I am so pleased to report that she remains in good spirits, and was able to come with Gail and me to visit Human Uncle Max and his family (poodles included) on Christmas day.

I also visited HGY's care home several times, and enjoyed getting to know some of the other residents.

There is a corner of the living room where the old ladies who are "not quite so on-the-ball as Human Granny" sit. This area, I've learned, is always worth a good nose around.

One morning I timed my tour of duty to perfection and arrived just as coffee and biscuits were being served. A nice lady patted me and gave me half a Custard Cream. So then the lady next to her decided she too wanted to give me a treat, and kindly attempted to toss an already part-masticated Bourbon biscuit in my direction. I hope no-one thinks I am being guilty of "girls can't throw" gender stereotyping when I tell you that this particular resident was not accurate in her aim. So the goo-ified biscuit landed in the other lady's lap. How fortunate that I was on hand, ready and willing to jump up and promptly dispose of the sticky mess.

Gail adds: And how fortunate also that no coffee was spilled and that the care assistant supervising operations had a GSOH. 

AWESOME!

So Gail and I are standing by the ticket barrier at Nottingham station yesterday morning when a tall, handsome and well spoken young man comes bounding over and addresses Gail thus:

"May I just say I think your dog is awesome!"

Gail says thank you and a big beaming smile lights up her face as she temporarily forgets that she finds constant use of the adjective 'awesome' ever so slightly irritating.

We had just been to see Human Granny. Despite finding it increasingly difficult to move around, she stays cheerful and positive about life, and interested in what's going on in the world. And she always smiles when she sees me.

I hope Gail doesn't mind if I tell you I think HGY is AWESOME.

Best birthday party ever!

Oh I just have to tell you all about Human Granny's birthday lunch.

You can imagine how honoured I felt to be invited along to join the party. We went to this tip top restaurant called Biondi Bistro, by Gunthorpe Lock. You can eat outside in a nicely sheltered courtyard area, so it's both dog and granny friendly. Perfect!

Look, here I am with, left to right, Human Granny, Gail, her brother Max and my smart and pretty human cousin Annabel.

That Biondi Bistro is the classiest of classy joints should be clear when you see who was at the table next to us.

Yes, not just one but TWO fellow wire fox terriers!

Handsome pups aren't they?

And all three of us were super well behaved, we really were!

PS Don't forget to stop by for the Pawlympics Munro Bagging event on Tuesday. Honestly, I am ready for a break from what Gail will insist on calling the 'real' Olympics. I mean, I ask you, just what is so interesting anyway about watching humans pedalling their bicycles round and round in circles for, seemingly, ever and ever...?

Best birthday party ever!

Oh I just have to tell you all about Human Granny's birthday lunch.

You can imagine how honoured I felt to be invited along to join the party. We went to this tip top restaurant called Biondi Bistro, by Gunthorpe Lock. You can eat outside on a nicely sheltered patio area, so it's both dog and granny friendly. Perfect!

Look, here I am with, left to right, Human Granny, Gail, her brother Max and my smart and pretty human cousin Annabel.

That Biondi Bistro is the classiest of classy joints should be clear when you see who was at the table next to us.

Yes, not just one but TWO fellow wire fox terriers!

Handsome pups aren't they?

And all three of us were super well behaved, we really were!

PS Don't forget to stop by for the Pawlympics Munro Bagging event on Tuesday. Honestly, I am ready for a break from what Gail will insist on calling the 'real' Olympics. I mean, I ask you, just what is so interesting about watching humans pedalling their bicycles round and round in circles for, seemingly, ever and ever...?