Well Bertie my dear bouncy little pal, did you miss me when I was down in Nottingham this week?
Oh Gail, of course I did! Let me come and have a cuddle on your lap. I only pretend to prefer staying with Neil and Yvonne you know. But I want to hear about Thursday. Did you see lots of your friends and relatives? Please tell me that my poodle cousins Coco and "Fat Boy" Percy were not invited to Human Granny's funeral service.
Rest assured Bertie it was a humans only affair, at the church and in the pub afterwards.
I believe it is usual to offer refreshments on these occasions? Sausage rolls and maybe even pork pies (after all Nottingham is not a million miles from Melton Mowbray). I don't suppose you brought a doggy bag back with you, by any chance?
Oh dear Bertie, I would have done, had the funeral guests - whose number exceeded our predictions by some margin - not scoffed the lot, down to the very last ham and pickle sandwich. I must say I admire your optimistic spirit, and am sorry to disappoint you.
Well never mind Gail. I am so glad that lots of people showed up to pay their respects to my wonderful Human Granny, and I'm guessing all that hymn singing and praying and listening to tributes gives one a good appetite. But I notice you are looking tired.
Bertie you are a sensitive and observant wee chap. How about we go for our evening stroll around the block, and then turn in early tonight?
Suits me! Shall I tell you a secret? I sleep so much better when I can rest my little head against your leg. It's nice to have you back home in Aberdeen.
It's nice to be back Bertie, it really is.
