Bertie and Addi's Postcard from Paris

Waiting for Addi

Oh my, I am all of a flutter and I don't mind admitting it.

My gorgeous girl Addi has invited me to Dory's 'Sadie Hawkins Dance' and will be arriving to pick me up any minute now.

I never can quite believe how lucky I am to have such a splendid, strapping lass like Addi for a partner, a girl who is confident enough to ignore boring and outmoded dating conventions. Between you and me, it is quite a relief not always to be the one who makes the first move. (I don't think I am compromising my masculinity in saying this, am I?)

I hope you think I am looking suitably handsome?

You know that neither Addi nor I are big into getting all dressed up, but I have had a thorough brushing and a paw wash. Also, although I am not a vain fellow, I am aware that my markings draw admiration in certain quarters and I feel it would be a shame to cover them up.

Oh oh oh, what is that I see descending through the Scottish mist?

I am barkless (almost). This is like a dream come true! And, given Addi's chosen mode of transport, I confess to being somewhat relieved I did not chose to wear a kilt…..

Click here to see what happens next.

This post is for Addi, from Bertie

Oh my goodness did you see Addi's post yesterday? I can't believe she actually invited me to Dory's Sadie Hawkins Dance.

I told her I would have to think about it. Well yes, it took all of one millionth of a nanosecond for me to decide.

I AM SO EXCITED - DO YOU THINK ADDI WILL DANCE A HIGHLAND FLING WITH ME?

Roll on October 1st!

PS Is that a tank in the tunnel…?

Goodbye TANK, hello SPACESHIP...

It is so important, isn't it, not to allow one's relationship to become stuck in a rut?

Now the more literal minded amongst you might be thinking, no danger of that with you and Addi, is there Bertie, with such a splendid tank at your disposal?

But of course I am referring to a metaphorical rut, and, well anyway, this year I decided that my darling Addi deserved something altogether more special and uplifting by way of transportation to the Heart to Heart Valentine's Dance. 

Oh I thought long and hard about the matter. Eventually, inspiration struck. What could be more uplifting than a spaceship!

Surely, to experience weightlessness is the dream of every larger lady. And as you know, Addi is a plus sized gal.

(So much gorgeousness. Aren't I the luckiest pup in the world?)

But I can tell you, it took some planning, this trip into space, to the realm of zero-gravity.

Of course, my scientific credentials helped secure me a place on NASA's elite astronaut training programme. Having passed all the required courses with flying colours, I was certified fit to command my very own spaceship.

The next challenge was to overcome Addi's natural reluctance to don the required protective wear. It was only when she saw how handsome I looked in the unisex blue spacesuit, that she was persuaded this was one outfit which could in no way be deemed 'girlie'.

Finally, on the eve of February 14, we were ready for blast off...

Click here to find out what happened next….

PS from Gail: I am indebted to Murphy and Stanley's brilliantly talented mom Carol for the wonderful photoshopped images in this post. 

Addi and Bertie's Halloween revenge on Jake

Oh I was so thrilled to learn that my sweetheart Addi was coming over to join me on a Halloween adventure again this year.

Now I'm sure my readers will remember how I got hurt by my flat-coated retriever neighbour Jake back in September?

And I'm equally sure you will agree with me that he needed teaching a lesson, big time.

Of course, my wonderful best girl was keen to back me up.

When our humans first heard of our plan, they suggested Addi and I wear masks and frighten Jake that way. And just to humour them we agreed to try them on.



However, as some of you will already be aware, Addi and I have at our disposal a weapon far scarier than pathetic little face masks.

Yes, we have The Tank.

It was all guns blazing as we set off in search of Jake.


We had received special intelligence that Jake (the coward), on hearing Addi was in town to help me out, had barricaded himself up inside what he mistakenly imagined was a safe house.


It didn't take Addi and I long to sniff him out...




Oh and isn't Addi looking gorgeous! I think she even might have added some muscle since I last saw her. So magnificent in every respect. I could have stood there all day admiring her big boned perfection. But we had work to do.

To find out what happened next, you need to click here to go to Addi's blog.

Preparing for my next adventure with Addi

Later this week I shall be meeting my sweetheart Addi for a Halloween adventure. So of course I had to go and make sure our transport was in good nick.

 I set to work to make it all spick and span.

'Cos Addi is worth it.

What a girl!

Sledding day: awaiting Addi's arrival

 As many of my readers will know, today is Sarge's sledding day. Well I wasn't at all sure that I would get to take part, but right at the last minute I learned from Jazzi's blog that my dear darling partner in crime beloved Addi is coming all the way from Illinois to join me for fun in the snow in Scotland.

Oh I am so excited! I just had to go and check out Addi's favourite tank.

You can go sledding in a tank can't you?

Oh I so adore Addi. You know Addi don't you? Such a beauty (I have been advised before not to use the phrase 'strapping lass' so I won't).

My kind of a girl, totally. 

I really had better make sure that our tank is all spick and span and in good working order.

What's that I see on the horizon?

It's Addi, it really is. Addi, I'm on my way to greet you. We are going to have such fun....

See Jazzi and Addi's blog for the next instalment...

Halloween mayhem with Addi and the tank..

So this was the scene in our kitchen as Gail said "goodbye" and "have a great time with Addi" and "please remember to keep your cape nice and straight".

Well you'll have to pop over to Jazzi Addi's blog to see exactly what happened next...

... You won't be surprised to learn that Addi was about as enthusiatic about her 'Target Dog' eye patch as I was keen on my Dracula outfit...

You can rest assured we had those costumes off faster than you could say 'trick or treat'. And as for the notion that we would then just "play nicely" with a pumpkin on a Scottish beach.

Well I think someone was forgetting that Addi and I have a far superior toy at our disposal... 

Oh Addi is a girl after my own heart. We are so alike in our thinking. I mean I know that some pups might be going all "how cute" when given the option to romp around together in a patch of jolly, smiling pumpkins.... 

But we had other ideas..

This was the scene after Addi and I laid waste to that old pumpkin patch...

Oh I can't tell you how much I adore Addi. What a fine, strapping lass she is. I am well and truly lovestruck. Do you know, before I set off for our date I thought and thought and thought about what present she would most like. Gail (who, let's be honest, is a strong contender for the world's most unimaginative gift giver) suggested flowers or jewellery, can you believe?

Luckily, with the help of Addi and Jazzi's Mom, I found something so much more suitable.

I am delighted to report that Addi was thrilled with her Halloween gift, and rewarded me with one of her most awesome ever smiles. She says she will treasure the finger for as long as it takes to totally decompose back in Illinois...

I am such a happy chap. 

Must Addi really return home? 

PS: Thanks to Addi's Mom for the fabulous photos

Me, on a 'Magic' Carpet ?

Readers, thank you so much again for your enthusiastic participation in my readers' poll.

As you can see, your favourite for the mode of transportation to take Addy to the Valentine Party, just edging it over the Oil Man's Audi and the Tank, was ....

..... THE MAGIC CARPET.

Boy, have you left me with a dreadful dilemma.

Seriously, you are expecting Blogville's chief (all right, only) scientific advisor to travel to the party by Magic Carpet ???


You might as well have voted Richard Dawkins for Pope. (No Gail, I do not think that is an excessively grandiose analogy.)

As a dyed-in-the-wiry-coat rationalist, of course I do not believe in magic. Also, being a terrier, I am a bit fearful of water.  So I am most dreadfully anxious about the whole Magic Carpet thing, especially the Atlantic crossing part of the journey. Plus there is the issue, as my greyhound pal Deccy points out, that people will think I am on drugs.... Oh how I wish I had not, on a thoughtless whim, included this Magic Carpet as an option in the poll.

I would feel so much safer in a tank.

Gail is telling me it is all a good lesson in how democracy can sometimes produce an unsatisfactory result, after all the Italians did actually elect Silvio Berlusconi (more than once), and that I shall have to learn to live with the result.

Well I thought long and hard about what to do, and have decided on a compromise. A bit like our current UK coalition government in fact - after all who voted for that? I have modified the so-called 'magic' carpet by installing solar panels and these will power a small engine (discreetly installed on the underside of the rug) which should keep us aloft in case all the abracadabra business fails. I am sure that Addy, being a sensible lass, will appreciate my precautions.

I have done some very careful calculations, based on my in-depth knowledge of aerodynamics and an estimate of the weight of my 'traditionally built' lady (thank you Jed and Abby!) I am now confident that with my additions, the carpet can be trusted to relay both Addy and me safely to the Valentine Party on 14th February.

Although, being a belt and braces kind of a dog, I have made arrangements for the tank to be held in reserve, just in case...

Oh I am so excited!

P.S. A word about the poll: I would like to note that both Gail and I did spot an 'irregularity' in the voting pattern. Just who are all the folk that voted for the 'Oil Man's Audi'? Only one comment (Rottrover) actually voiced support for this vehicle yet it garnered close on a quarter of the votes cast in the poll. How could this be? Is it that fans of Audi TTs and personalised number plates prefer to keep quiet about their preferences for some reason...?