Bertie ponders Britain and the EU...

Hmmm. Brexit then? Almost an anagram of Bertie, you'll note.

Gail pointed out that, in advance of the June referendum, all self-respecting media commentators in the UK have been pontificating on whether Britain should "stay in Europe" and she suggested I should do the same.

Wearing my Boffin hat, the first thing to say is that, barring the unexpected and sudden appearance of an oceanic spreading ridge down the middle of the English channel, Britain is and will remain geographically part of Europe, at least within the time scale normally considered in this blog. The question is of course is about economic and political relationships.

To be honest, the pros and cons of UK remaining 'in' are somewhat beyond my pay grade. I tried Googling 'EU + dogs' but the search results were dominated by rants about puppy farms in Lithuania, sad indeed but not strictly relevant here.

So I decided to investigate the attitudes to dogs of various prominent human participants in the EU debate.

I confess to being disappointed that Mayor of London and recently declared 'Outie' Boris Johnson, although himself often acting like an overgrown and attention seeking puppy, appears to be disinclined to pose for photographs alongside my own species (fearful of being outshone, one suspects). More understandably perhaps, one leader of the 'In' campaign, former postman Alan Johnson - no relation to Boris - also seems wary of my kind.

But what to make of the fact that Europe's most powerful woman Angela Merkel, although undoubtedly pro Britain staying 'in', is distantly anti when it comes to any kind of canine companion - especially one belonging to Mr Putin?

Ms Merkel's ally, our own UK Prime Minister, was in his early days as leader known for 'husky hugging' but his credentials as a dog lover were somewhat dented when he very nearly dropped a wriggly terrier puppy on a fraught visit to Battersea dogs home.

Back to the Brexiters, I finally struck gold with Michael Gove, perhaps the most senior Tory MP to declare he wants 'Out'.

Who could not love a man so unembarrassed to be photographed embracing his much adored powder puff Bichon Frise, Snowy? Isn't she cute? Surely her owner must be a man of sound judgement? And what's more, he comes from Aberdeen! Yes I think I am convinced. Bertie for Brexit it is!

Oh. Gail is giving me a disapproving look and saying something about reduced treat rations and no more help with the blog unless I change my mind.

They said this was going to get nasty…

Grumpy human...

Gosh, do you know, before this week I had no idea what an important role I play in maintaining Gail's equable temperament and cheerful disposition.

Whilst I am delighted to report that my wound from last weekend has been healing nicely, this has only been achieved at a price. Gail and I have been trying hard to observe to vet's instructions, which limit me short walks on the lead, with a total ban on running around in the undergrowth, chasing cats, jumping on sofas and all sorts of agreeable activities.

This has been boring but, between you and me, I have been feeling kind of wiped out anyway after all the trauma of the 'incident' with Jake. Worse by far has been the effect of this lack of exercise on Gail.

You see it most in the early mornings. She leaps out of bed, all ready to go for our daily trot round the park, she grabs my lead and if she were a pup her tail would be wagging. But when I remind Gail that we are limited to a gentle stroll down the road and back, her face clouds over and later I notice she is less patient than usual when talking to her very deaf mother on the phone.

So for once I was quite relieved when, early today, I spotted her pumping up her bicycle tyres and oiling the chain. She wheeled the bike out the front door and returned four hours later, hot and sweaty but looking much calmer.

She even shared with me a photo of a not so silly sheep, taken by one of her cycling companions while out on the ride.

And later in the afternoon when Gail phoned Human Granny I heard her repeat "Bertie and I will be arriving in Nottingham on the train, at 6:30 in the evening, a week on Thursday" at least four times without sounding at all irritated.

Bertie's analysis of why the NO's won

Who knew the anti-independence 'Better Together' campaign were so well organised?

What? You are surprised?

I'll tell you a wee story from Thursday morning.

Anxious to ensure Gail made it to the polling station before work, I hastened round the park.  A Bright New Dawn for Scotland was not looking likely...

Ferryhill Church Hall was just a short diversion from our usual route.

Dogs were not allowed inside and Gail was looking in vain for a suitable place to leave me. 

Before you could say "Barnett formula" a nice lady in a pink jacket decorated with 'No Thanks' stickers appeared out of nowhere. She kindly offered to mind me while Gail voted, assuring her she'd already looked after several other dogs that morning (although it was only 7:30 a.m.)

So Gail went in, and while she was trying to understand the instructions...

…I was enjoying lots of cuddles from the nice lady, who also had a generous supply of yummy treats in her pocket.

Surely, any campaign group that looks after voters' best friends so handsomely is well deserving of its victory?

The autumn crocuses will still bloom...

Friends, I have noticed that Gail has been fretting about the big vote in Scotland today, and is worried what will happen next.

Well I too was mulling over this matter when in Torridon last weekend, and it dawned on me that the important things will not change.

I shall still sit in front of the cottage, watching the world (or at least the sheep) go by, with dear Hamish's memorial stone to my side, and the Autumn crocuses will still bloom.

I shall still enjoy a morning run along my favourite footpath.

And bumptious new neighbours will still need to be put in their place.

The lochside scene will still be picturesque.

And back at the cottage, food and water bowls will still be replenished and Gail will be planning another nice outing for the both of us.

Sometimes, it takes a dog to keep things in perspective.

One week to go...

I can't believe she didn't buy me some...

...of these sausages.

Yes, that's right, Gail looked inside the meat cabinet in the farm shop, took a photo and then came home with just blue cheese and yoghurt.

Tragic.

Oh, and I guess you would like to see a few pictures from my weekend walk up Craigendarroch, a steep wee hill just outside Ballater.

Looking beyond Ballater to the Balmoral estate, where the Queen too must be fretting about the future of her realm.

 

A question about a pet passport

To: Alex Salmond, The First Minister of Scotland and leader of the Scottish National Party.

26th May 2014


Dear Mr Salmond,

PET PASSPORTS MATTER!

First of all, I want to apologise for making cheap jokes about your name, your physique and your horse-riding ability, in my post a short while back. On reflection, my owner Gail had a point, I was guilty of being trivial.

Well today, Mr Salmond, I want to address a genuinely important issue.

I am sure you will agree that one of the things that has made Scotland great is that so many of our intrepid and adventurous citizens have performed with distinction on the world stage.

I am thinking of David Livingstone, John Muir, Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Glover, to name but a few.

Oh I too would so love to travel, to visit my friends beyond these island shores, and to show the world what Scots born creatures can accomplish. (One can only go so far with an internationally renowned blog).

I am imagining a tour of continental Europe, for starters.

Can you believe that I do not yet possess a passport? I know for a fact that my predecessor Hamish the Westie had one, as I remember overhearing Gail tell a friend that it had cost a small fortune and never was used.

Well surely nobody will dispute that I am worth it, but there is another complication - one that I hope you can address.

So please, Mr Salmond, can you tell me what will happen if I go to the vets and obtain a British passport and then, in September, the human citizens of Scotland vote for independence?

Will my British pet passport still be valid? Will I need a Scottish passport and have to show it at the border when we visit Human Granny in England? Will I still be entitled to a British passport on the grounds that my owner was born and bred in England? How much will it all cost?

I have searched long and hard through the Scottish National Party's policy documents, but found nothing, absolutely nothing, about the crucial issue of travel documentation for dogs.

I would like to think that, even as I type (or rather, dictate to my human assistant) you will have a phalanx of dedicated policy wonks addressing this gaping hole in your supposedly comprehensive 'White Paper' on Scotland's future. I have to tell you that Gail feels less confident of this, saying, somewhat uncharitably, that there are many other glaring gaps in the SNP vision of Scottish Independence that do not appear to have been properly thought through...

Mr Salmond, I am a terrier, hard-wired to be independent minded but also trusting.

I am sure that you can give me the answers to all my questions and that they will be satisfactory.

I await your reply with eager anticipation.

Yours sincerely,

Bouncing Bertie (wire-haired fox terrier),
Aberdeen,
Scotland.

PS I know you are a busy chap, but perhaps you would enjoy a break and a wee peek at some photos of my recent weekend in Torridon.

YES we are back in Scotland

As my readers who follow Scottish affairs will of course have realised, the poster above refers to the forthcoming referendum, in which voters will be asked "do you want Scotland to be an independent country?"

Now this blog aims for political balance (Gail raises eyebrows here) so I have been looking for a NO, or rather a BETTER TOGETHER poster in someone's front window so I can pose beside that too.

I have searched far and wide, but there are none to be seen.

So I asked Gail, do we conclude from this that everybody in Scotland, apart from her, is going to vote YES?

Then I asked why she does not put a BETTER TOGETHER poster in our window.

And Gail said something about fearing an expensive bill from the glazier…

Proudly Independent or Better Together?

Now it may just have escaped the attention of some of my far flung readers that there is a going to be a referendum in Scotland later this year. On the 18th of September, to be precise. The question is:

"Should Scotland be an independent country?"

Well I'm sure you are longing to hear my thoughts.

Hmmm.

Gail is warning me not to put my paw in it here.  Some neighbours who were previously good friends with each other have already fallen out over this contentious and emotive issue.

Of course, being a terrier, I am by nature attracted to the notion of independence. But then I am remembering Human Granny and Grandad down in England and I don't at all like to think they could become foreigners. And, you know what, we already have different laws about dogs in Scotland anyway (absolutely no tail docking, even of working dogs, for example).

Oh it is all very difficult.

I wonder which bandana suits me best?


And now Gail is saying it's all irrelevant 'cos dogs don't get to decide. Surely that can't be right? I mean I know for a fact that human sixteen year olds will be eligible to vote in the referendum, and I am most definitely more sensible and have better judgement than the average bipedal teenager…


I may return to this important topic in due course …