An excellent Brexit decision...

Does your human ever tease you in a manner that is SO TOTALLY NOT FUNNY?

Mine does.

For example, on Sunday morning after breakfast, Gail said this to me:

"You know what Bertie? There are some very important Brexit decisions being debated in Parliament this week. It is a matter of great national importance, so I suggest that, instead of our usual Sunday outing, it would be a good idea if we stayed indoors and spent all day reading all the papers and watching our 'commentariat' pontificating on TV about the likely outcomes of Tuesday's vote at Westminster. What do you think Bertie?"

Gail watched my fuzzy little face fall as fast as the pound sterling will in the event of "No Deal", then laughed and said:

"Only kidding Bertie. I think a brisk walk in Glen Tanar is just the pick-me-up we need at this time of political turmoil."

So we put aside the newspaper and headed to Glen Tanar, and this turned out to be an excellent decision.

Although I admit I was a tiny bit miffed to find out that some Capercaillie has apparently taken up residence in my favourite part of the forest and put up a 'do not enter' sign.

So anyway, we diverted to a path across farmland, where Gail insisted on stopping to admire four handsome horses and a procession of very orderly sheep.

All in all, so much better than thinking about Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg...

Oops I sat on the daffodils...

Last weekend at the Torridon cottage. I was checking out new growth in the garden when Gail called out, "Hey Bertie that would make a nice picture for the LLB gang's Nature Friday, you and the daffodil shoots. Your readers will be pleased to see that Spring is on the way here in NW Scotland."

So of course I obliged. Or so I thought. Only to hear an anguished cry.

"NO BERTIE! You're supposed to sit BESIDE not ON the daffodils...."

Ho hum. And I thought that after nearly nine years of blogging I had this posing business cracked...

Pee-ess..

(Belated) congratulations to King! The fifteenth wire fox terrier to be crowned Top Dog in the USA.

At least there's one Westminster where good decisions are made...

Inappropriate sniffing?

Recent reports on 'sexual harassment' in our Westminster parliament have recently given me paws for thought about my own behaviour in public.

By all accounts (OK, some accounts), conduct that was considered acceptable between humans a couple of decades ago is now likely to give offence.

I am wondering if the same is true for dogs?

Although it is hard to admit it, I am now a middle-aged pup, and I fear I may be losing touch with the latest thinking on these matters.

Is it still OK to greet a bitch in the park?

Indeed, is it still OK to refer to her as a bitch, or should that be 'woman dog'?

And what is the latest thinking around sniffing etiquette?

I so hope the rear end is not going to be declared a 'safe space'...

Gosh and I do enjoy licking my private parts, but maybe I must in future confine this innocent pleasure to the bedroom?

It is all so confusing for the male pup these days. Friends, can you give me some guidance, please?

On Westminster winner Sky (and why my heart belongs to Addi)

Several friends have brought to my attention the fact that a wire-haired fox terrier named Sky was Best in Show at the Westminster dog show (the USA's version of Crufts) this year.

We can all agree she is a spectacular looking wee lass.

Now I have been feeling a bit upset that Gail vetoed my getting involved with all the Valentine's Day business this year, with that lame "too busy at work" excuse with which many of us are so familiar.

Long time readers will know that my special sweetheart is Addi from Illinois. The most beautiful big-boned American Bulldog you ever could meet.

 Addi, I want you to know that you are still the tops.

Not for me a girl with candy floss for legs.

Can you imagine a date with Sky?

"Ew no Bertie, I cannot come with you for a rampage across a Highland bog. I need at least four more hours on the grooming table before I could possibly show my face to the world. And by the way, were you aware that the set and shape of your tail does not conform to the breed standard? Please run along and fetch my nail varnish. And I suppose you think that's funny, offering me a lift in a tank..."

Not on

It's really not good enough is it?

Does your human do this?

Go swanning off to the capital city for a couple of days, leave you at home, and return with a photo featuring a dog as if that were adequate recompense?

It clearly would have been appropriate to take me along.

There was plenty of room for a well-behaved wire-haired fox terrier in the Caledonian Sleeper compartment.

Oh to have dined at Café Spice with Gail's godson Ben and his lovely girlfriend Robyn.

And then, no conference venue is quite grand enough if a dog is not present.

Maybe I could have had a ride on the London Eye too.

Or thrown a snowball at a politician.

Oh and talking of politics, Gail and I are both so glad to see that something useful was being delivered to Downing Street this week (read carefully...)