I blame Crufts

Apparently this is the 'picture to go by'. 

Please someone, tell my owner IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!

The Englishman, the Scotsman, the Irishman and the Welshman.

No, this is not going to be another of those jokes invoking tired national stereotypes. Nor is it a reference to the independence debate.

And in fact it should truly be the Englishwoman, the Scotsmen and women, the Welshman, the Irish dog and the American…

All of these were present at the Royal Highland Showground, venue for last Saturday's dogs agility show.

The Englishwoman here, is of course Gail.

Note that she is looking mightily relieved and this is because, despite her woeful lack of commitment to training for the team relay event, we did not mess up in any major way and our team exceeded expectations by coming a respectable fifth (out of eleven).

See, Gail's team mates, Scotswomen Yvonne and Alison and our inspirational Texan team captain Jeri, were even still happy to pose with her after the event.

Yvonne and Phoebe, Alison and Maddie, Gail and Bertie, Jeri (Burns is hiding) 

The Irish dog I want to tell you about is this well cropped WFT pup Hayley.

Hayley is eleven years old and now retired from agility, but she had travelled all the way over from Ulster with her family - her sibling spaniels were in the competition. Gail was most impressed to learn that Hayley had reached Grade 6 in her agility career. She is quite a lot smaller than me. I think she is cute. 

Over in a different part of the showground on Saturday the Scottish Kennel Club were running their version of Crufts. Gosh there were a lot of very handsome pups strutting about the place. 

The Welshman was sat at a table outside the show arena when we walked past. He beckoned Gail over and told her she was a lady of excellent taste. 

You will have guessed that he was not referring to her dress sense. He wanted to know all about me, admiring my markings, my bone structure, my muscles, and my alert demeanour. He even asked if he could look at my teeth. (I have to tell you that did not go too well…) At this point the penny dropped and Gail asked if he was a show judge. It turned out we were talking to Mr Gerrard Morris, judge for the terrier group at Crufts earlier this year. Remember that a WFT won the terrier group? Gail found this picture on the internet. My new friend is the rosy cheeked chappie on the left. 

As for the Scotsmen and women well duh, I hear you thinking, we were in Edinburgh, of course there would be plenty of those, even at Festival time. 

This is true, but what we had on Saturday, in yet another part of the Showground, were hordes of bagpipe playing, kilt wearing, particularly Scottish looking Scots, all participating in a huge pipe band contest. 

You know, the Royal Highland Showground is not a place for lovers of tranquillity.

As if multiple pipe bands playing simultaneously next to a field of hyped up agility dogs did not provide enough noise, then you also had a nearby fairground blasting out loud music and, above, planes from the adjacent Edinburgh airport taking off every fifteen minutes or so.

To be honest, a bit too much excitement, even for me…

Back home and enjoying some peace and quiet.

A Good Team Player…or the Weakest Link?

I had a peek at Gail's email yesterday - fellow pups, don't pretend you never do the same - and was most excited to see this from one of our of the trainers at Deeside Dog Agility Club.

Hi Gail

Since you are not on Facebook, I thought I'd email you to ask whether you would be interested in being part of the Deeside team aiming to qualify for Crufts?

The format is a team of 4 dogs/handlers (+ up to 2 reserves) running an agility course in relay with the winners of the qualifying heat progressing to Crufts 2015. The qualifying heat is on Saturday 23rd of August at the Scottish Kennel Club Show in Ingliston, Edinburgh. Crufts is early March 2015 at the NEC in Birmingham. If you were wanting to be part of the team, you would be committing to attend the SKC show and, hopefully, Crufts should you qualify.

At present, the Medium team consists of Jeri + Burns, Alison + Maddie and Yvonne + Phoebe. We hope to add Denise + Scally (yet tbc) and yourself to make up the team + 1 reserve.

It should be noted that a relay is not simply about speed, with consistency and an ability to not get eliminated being important components of a good team.

Let me know what you think. I'll be at training tomorrow night so give me a shout if you want to chat it through. The closing date for entry is ~15/7.

Thanks and regards.

….

Oh my goodness I am so flattered. Imagine me at Crufts! I am going to be a star. What could possibly stop me?

You can trust my human to pour cold water on a pup's dreams of glory.

Gail is pointing out that there are rather few medium sized dogs in our club, in fact probably only five, so making the team is nothing to bark about. Also, rather nastily I thought, she mentions the minor detail that I have yet to be promoted from Grade 1, the lowest level of agility, so may not exactly be considered an asset to a team otherwise comprised of high achievers.

Still, she agreed we could take part.

Neither Gail nor I are sure of the rules for an agility relay. I will admit that at least two of the dogs in the team are, to put it diplomatically, not my best friends, and, on mature consideration, I don't think I would be prepared to engage with them in mouth-to-mouth baton passing.

Can anyone enlighten me as to how it all works?

Lampard?

Lampard in his prime

It may have escaped your notice that the winner of the Terrier group at Crufts this year was a Skye Terrier (of quite extraordinary appearance) who goes by the faintly improbable name of 'Lampard'.

UK based readers will immediately and correctly have guessed that 'Lampard' is so named out of admiration for the well known Chelsea and England footballer Frank Lampard.

It set me to wondering. If you were to be called after a sporting hero, whom would you chose?

Berti Vogts in his prime...

I would like to take this opportunity to make it quite clear, most emphatically, that there is no connection between my name and that of Berti Vogts, the World Cup winning 1970s German football player who later had an unsuccessful stint as the Scotland team manager.

Gail has still, over two years later, not quite recovered from being stopped in the park by a local ned who, on learning my name, said "Bearrrr-tie? Yer didnae name him efta tha' sh*t Sco'land manager did Yer?"

Words fail us Wednesday

And this is a UTILITY dog.......?

Best Not In Show

When I was a tiny wee pup, it was determined that I would not be a show dog. Something to do with the set of my tail or the shape of my head being wrong, I believe.

Now we are not in this household virulently anti-dog show or anything.  I can promise you, Gail spent many hours in front of the telly this weekend transfixed by Crufts, trying to figure out what on earth the judges are looking for, and muttering things like "but surely that labrador that came
second was a bit fat", and "I just can't imagine why the gorgeous Samoyed didn't get placed....."

But I do know I am more than happy to be able to spend my sunny spring Sunday afternoons gallivanting by the River Dee with sound of salmon plopping away in the background, and not a care in the world.

PS Gail is ridiculously pleased that she 'caught' a salmon leaping in the final photo (top left). You're right, it is not very impressive but, to keep the peace, I decided to humour her and show you anyway.

Toodle pip!
Bertie the Diplomat.

Calcutta Cup or Crufts?

It has been a wet weekend in Aberdeen and I have been working hard analyzing the data you all sent in for my scientific paper on climate change.  

By the way, this is my favourite thinking chair.

I have also been thinking about this weekend's two great competitions here in the UK.  Which would you prefer to watch on telly - the Calcutta Cup (the annual England versus Scotland rugby match) or Crufts (the dog show)? 

It seems unfair that wire-haired fox terriers are allowed to compete in one and not the other. After all, which do you think we are best suited to? The contest where you have to trot obediently round a show ring on a short lead and have your very private bits felt by some random judge? Or the one involving participation in loosely regulated mayhem, chasing a funny shaped ball around a big field and biting the other players' ankles. At least I think that's allowed. 'Cos pretty much everything else in rugby is permitted, as far as I can tell. It does strike me as the most tremendous fun.  

I have been advised to steer clear of discussing the subject of which rugby team I supported this afternoon. A sensitive issue for a Scots born dog living in Scotland with an English human....