Tulip inspection

So I went to check up on the tulips when I was down in the park last Friday and found they were still standing to attention and in good order.

But today they were all gone.

I wonder what they'll plant here next.

Do you still have tulips out where you live?

A question about a pet passport

To: Alex Salmond, The First Minister of Scotland and leader of the Scottish National Party.

26th May 2014


Dear Mr Salmond,

PET PASSPORTS MATTER!

First of all, I want to apologise for making cheap jokes about your name, your physique and your horse-riding ability, in my post a short while back. On reflection, my owner Gail had a point, I was guilty of being trivial.

Well today, Mr Salmond, I want to address a genuinely important issue.

I am sure you will agree that one of the things that has made Scotland great is that so many of our intrepid and adventurous citizens have performed with distinction on the world stage.

I am thinking of David Livingstone, John Muir, Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Glover, to name but a few.

Oh I too would so love to travel, to visit my friends beyond these island shores, and to show the world what Scots born creatures can accomplish. (One can only go so far with an internationally renowned blog).

I am imagining a tour of continental Europe, for starters.

Can you believe that I do not yet possess a passport? I know for a fact that my predecessor Hamish the Westie had one, as I remember overhearing Gail tell a friend that it had cost a small fortune and never was used.

Well surely nobody will dispute that I am worth it, but there is another complication - one that I hope you can address.

So please, Mr Salmond, can you tell me what will happen if I go to the vets and obtain a British passport and then, in September, the human citizens of Scotland vote for independence?

Will my British pet passport still be valid? Will I need a Scottish passport and have to show it at the border when we visit Human Granny in England? Will I still be entitled to a British passport on the grounds that my owner was born and bred in England? How much will it all cost?

I have searched long and hard through the Scottish National Party's policy documents, but found nothing, absolutely nothing, about the crucial issue of travel documentation for dogs.

I would like to think that, even as I type (or rather, dictate to my human assistant) you will have a phalanx of dedicated policy wonks addressing this gaping hole in your supposedly comprehensive 'White Paper' on Scotland's future. I have to tell you that Gail feels less confident of this, saying, somewhat uncharitably, that there are many other glaring gaps in the SNP vision of Scottish Independence that do not appear to have been properly thought through...

Mr Salmond, I am a terrier, hard-wired to be independent minded but also trusting.

I am sure that you can give me the answers to all my questions and that they will be satisfactory.

I await your reply with eager anticipation.

Yours sincerely,

Bouncing Bertie (wire-haired fox terrier),
Aberdeen,
Scotland.

PS I know you are a busy chap, but perhaps you would enjoy a break and a wee peek at some photos of my recent weekend in Torridon.

Window shopping in Banchory

I saw this Scotch whisky in a shop window in the town of Banchory last weekend and I just had to find out more. Oh how thrilling it was to learn from Mr Google that the drink had been named  in memory of Binks, a much loved fox terrier who belonged to the owners of Douglas Laing and Co,  a Glasgow-based firm of whisky bottlers and blenders.

Apparently the fellow pictured was a bit of a 'scallywag'. A wire-haired fox terrier. Who would have guessed? You can read more about him if you click here.

I have asked Gail if, in the statistically highly probable event that I pre-decease her, she would consider arranging for a whisky to be named after me.

The 'Bouncing Bertie Blend' has a nice ring to it, although a single malt would be classier.

What's in a name? (plus bonus training video)

When random people we meet in the park hear that my name is Bertie, they often say:

"Awww, but he looks just like a Bertie".

Have you any idea what they mean?

I would love to know what it is about me that conveys the essence of Bertieness?

On another matter. You know we actually had a couple of warm days in Aberdeen last week? So much so that I had the opportunity to make a video demonstrating how to cool off in the river, WFT style.

You will notice that one keeps one's belly dry. It is all in the nose and beard action.