Ice and ice-cream - a discussion

Scene near Gail's workplace, 25 April

Gosh Gail, I am wondering why you decided to whip up some home-made ice cream, the very week when it has been snowing again in Aberdeen? Your timing is not good is it?

Bertie, surely you know that criticising your human is not part of the dog job description! Rather, you are supposed to offer non-judgemental adoration at all times. That said, I will concede you might have a point about the poor timing. 

Yes. Please explain yourself then.

Well Bertie, you know how much we both love reading about the adventures of our PON friends Bob and Sophie and their humans Angus and 'the Font', in Angus's daily blog? The writing is so vivid that for a few minutes each morning we are transported to their warm corner of France profonde, and we forget we live in chilly Aberdeen, don't we? 

Er yes I guess that's true up to a point. Although the fact that I am still waiting to be offered a sliver of croissant for breakfast is something of a give-away, I feel.

Anyway, Angus mentioned at the weekend that 'the Font' was making homemade buttermilk ice cream and it sounded so delicious!  No soon as he had kindly provided the recipe than I hot footed it down to Sainsbury's for the ingredients, and it was all in the freezer before the BBC's Tomasz Schafernaker could say the words: "Cold blast of Arctic air imminent".


Hmmm, so now that I have warmed up from my icy walk around the park, I am thinking perhaps we could try a wee sample of the buttermilk ice cream? After all, it might be another year or so before we enjoy properly hot weather, and Gail, it would be dreadful for all your efforts to go to waste.

OK Bertie, I am persuaded, here it is!  A bowl with raspberries for me and a wee morsel for you too.


Oh my goodness this is utterly heavenly! Although I am thinking it is Scotch whisky and not the prescribed Bourbon you have mixed in with the cream, buttermilk, honey and granulated sugar?


Yes Bertie, in fact the Scotch whisky was your very own 'Sweet Wee Scallywag' blend. I'm so glad you liked the ice cream. I did too.


So when are we getting seconds then?

Watching the rugby

England play Scotland at Twickenham. Against all expectations, Scotland lead at half time. Bertie prepares for a tense forty minutes…

But what about a wee dram for me?

You'll be pleased to hear that Gail and I went back to the shop where we had spotted the 'Sweet Wee Scallywag' whisky in the window a couple of weeks ago. (How could anyone resist a drink named after a family favourite wire-haired fox terrier?)

She was about to tie me up outside, but I noticed the sign on the shop door.

Clearly, the 'Deeside Drinks Emporium' understand all about keeping their customers happy. And phew, what a relief it was to find that they had not yet sold out of 'Sweet Wee Scallywag'.

I was a bit suspicious of both the man in the shop and the box containing the whisky bottle, but of course, curiosity won out in the end.

Gail was keen to sample her new purchase, although for some reason she deemed it inappropriate to do so when we arrived home before midday.

I was intrigued by this tasting note from the whisky blender's website:

Scallywag has a rich, dark colour – extracted from the many fine Spanish Sherry Butts selected.  It carries a richly spiced character on the nose woven into delicious vanilla from the Bourbon Hogsheads selected. On the palate detect layer on layer of sweet stewed fruit, Christmas pudding & dark chocolate fused with spice (nutmeg and cinnamon) much of which can be attributed to years slumbering in those Sherry Butts. The finish displays a burst of zesty orange with sweet tobacco, cocoa & rich fruit cake

Another specialist website went further:

Nose: very malty, with Frosties and grain biscuits. Very heavy on sticky toffee notes. Some honey, icing sugar and dried grasses. Vanilla custard. Macadamia nut brittle ice cream. Spices like cinnamon, candied ginger. Some overripe orange in the back. Mouth: sweet and spicy. Raisins, oranges again, revolving around a core that screams young malt. Sugared cereals and caramel. Abundant spices: pepper, ginger, as well as a vanilla woodiness. I think there’s quite some sherried Glenrothes in there – not everyone likes that. Finish: medium long, grainy with a slightly harsh / bitter edge and a dry end.

Imagine how disappointed I was when Gail declared this 46% alcohol/volume tipple NFB*



Later in the evening she poured herself a wee dram, mixed with a splash of water, and declared herself well satisfied with the new addition to the drinks cabinet.

*NFB - Not For Bertie

Pip's Tour reaches Scotland with mixed results...

Fàilte gu Alba Pip! Welcome to Scotland. Yes I'm Bertie. Oh I am so thrilled that you and your partner in crime travelling companion, the notorious Puddles, have made it all the way from the USA on your 'Bucket Tour'. I have just about bounced my hind legs off in excited anticipation. OK, let's go out. Which hill do you want to climb this afternoon? Beinn Alligin perhaps? Or Mount Keen? Clachnaben? Liathach? Morvern?

Er, Bertie, it's great to see you my wiry friend, but just hang on a minute. Haven't you noticed the horizontal rain lashing the windows of your solid granite home? Can you not hear the icy wind roaring in from the  North Sea. And anyway it is barely light. I think we should at least wait until the sun is up. I have to say I am disappointed by the weather. It usually looks so sunny on your blog. And remember, I am not too well. Perhaps we could stay inside in the warm and dry?

Pip dearest Pip, I'm afraid you need to learn a few home truths about Scotland. Too many of you pups in the US have a rose-tinted view of our country. One that, in my ongoing campaign to win a contract with the Scottish Tourist Board, I am occasionally guilty of playing up to.

Oh. So. Are you telling me this weather is quite normal for January? 

Er, well, yes, I suppose I am. And frankly it is often not much better in July. At least there is no danger of being eaten alive by midges at this time of year. As for daylight, well I hate to break it to you, I know you will be jet-lagged and doubtless confused about timing, but it is now midday and this is as light as it is going to get.

Look Bertie, tell you what, let's forget about going for a walk anyway. Puddles and I have brought along supplies. We are ready to party.


What on earth is all that?

Food Bertie. Good ole American food.

Are you quite sure? No wonder you have not been feeling tip top lately Pip. I think you need some proper healthy Scottish nutrition. Gail, bring on the Irn Bru (made from steel girders) and the deep fried macaroni pie. With an extra helping of chips. That's french fries in your language of course. 

Thank you Bertie, that looks, um, nice... But perhaps you could possibly also serve up a crisp fresh salad? 

Oh I have been warned about you Americans. So polite but also so demanding. Why not just wait for the chips to go cold? In Scotland, we call that salad. 

Puddles? Who are we visiting next? I think it must be time to be going... 

No no Pip, please don't go! Pip, Puddles, I am so sorry. Tact is not always my strong point. I see your glasses are empty. You cannot possibly leave without at least sampling one more Scottish delicacy. Now which is your preferred whisky? Do you like an Islay malt or one from Speyside? In my opinion the island whiskies taste of seaweed, but each to his own. In this house, we're particularly partial to a Highland Park (which was also my predecessor Hamish's favourite tipple).

Pip, let me pour you a wee dram.


Now you're talking Bertie. Yes and I see you have quite a selection there. 

I think we need to sample them all. Puddles where's your glass? This promises to be a long night.

(Sigh) I'm telling you it's still daytime....

Whisky, bogs, mountains, lochs and a nice cup of tea

Yes I am going for some Scottish stereotypes today.....

Just had a wonderful weekend over at the cottage in Torridon. We drove a different way from usual, and stopped at Dufftown en route.

Apparently I'm not old enough for whisky, which is a shame, 'cos there are lots of famous distilleries nearby. Hamish would have loved it.

Meanwhile the west coast of Scotland was enjoying its usual summer weather.

Of course, that never deters us from going out. I do hope Uncle Eric reads this as I think he would be impressed by the state of my coat...

Only one hour after this walk on Saturday, we went to visit our German neighbours Renate and Michael for afternoon tea. Don't you think I scrub up nicely?

I snuggled up on Renate's super-comfy lap, happily daydreaming about bogs as she and Michael and Gail chattered on and on (I think the subject of the FIFA World Cup came up).

We went for another walk this morning, but it wasn't as good as yesterday's. No bogs.

I was well-behaved and obeyed the rules.

But it was quite a long hike, and I can tell you I was mightily miffed to be woken up on the drive home, ejected from my cosy spot in the rear of the car and made to pose for yet another picture.