Normal (but in no way average)

Greetings friends! 

My human has always advised me to avoid allowing medical issues to dominate my blog. (Apparently she learned from her own experience with Human Granny and Grandad that lengthy and repetitive descriptions of every single symptom experienced, no matter how personal and embarrassing, are not a good way to engage another's attention...).  

But I do want you to know that the results of last week's blood tests all came back as absolutely 'normal'. The vet also assured Gail that my daily water intake of 500-600 ml is well within the expected range. The current theory is that a slightly enlarged prostate might be contributing to my occasional 'accidents' in the house.

So the way forward is that Gail will continue to monitor my fluid intake, noting any changes, and will be more attentive when I indicate I would like to go outside.

On to cheerier matters. I was thrilled to meet up for a walk with my WFT group for the first time in six months. There was a bumper turnout (ten of us wiry guys plus one smooth-haired fox terrier) and we enjoyed a glorious romp on Balmedie Beach, with a modicum of merry terrier mayhem, as you can see from the photos below.

I think you'll agree that my blood might be normal, but in every other way I am well above average.

A scene on the ferry home inspires a new research project

"I'm expected to go there in that sandbox?

"As if I were a cat?

"NO WAY.

"I need to be outside.

"When I said outside, this was not what I had in mind. Look, this ship is moving all over the place. If I lift my leg I might topple overboard into the North Sea. 

"I think I shall wait until we reach Newcastle. It can't be long now surely."

************ 

After seventeen hours on the ferry, I finally gave in and peed in sandbox. Just enough to relieve the pressure. I saved the rest until I found some good solid Tyneside soil an hour later.

I  am wondering how long my friends can go without needing to pee.
Do smaller or older pups need to go more often?
Is it a breed specific thing?
And what about gender?

It occurs to me that this topic merits a proper scientific study. And who better to conduct the research than your very own Bouncing Boffin!

I am hoping my readers can provide me with data, on which I can conduct an in-depth analysis in my own inimitable style.

So, all I need you to do is leave me a comment stating your age, gender, breed, weight and length of time you can go before you need to pee. You can tell me about your friends too.

The more data the better, so please feel free to include any additional information - hard facts or even anecdotes - you might consider relevant (in the broadest sense).

In compliance with the usual ethical data protection principles, strict confidentiality will apply...(sort of).

To Pee or not to Pee (the dogs' dilemma)

Sorry, bitches (I hope that is an acceptable form of address for my lady dog friends, one has to be so careful these days) but today I am going to tackle a topic which is primarily of concern to those of us of the leg-cocking gender.

Perhaps there are some readers who are unaware of the difficult bladder-related decisions that the male dog faces when out for his daily walk. To be pee or not to be pee, that is the question. 

You probably imagine we just stroll out of the house without a care in the world, no native hue of resolution...sicklied over with the pale cast of thought, and casually lift our leg against the nearest lamppost or tree, and that's all there is to it.

Oh how wrong you are.

Hamlet himself would have considered it outrageous fortune that we are confronted with such a sea of troubles when it comes to the business of urinating. Their currents turn awry doesn't even begin to describe it.

One one hand, we know that we are supposed, by the end of the walk, to have emptied our bladder. A full bladder being, of course one of the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to. But on the other hand, who can tell how many times during that same walk, we will feel the compulsion to mark our territory? And we all know there's nothing make's a dog grunt and sweat under a weary life more than firing pee-mail blanks, as it were.

Ay, there's the rub.

It is, I admit, a bit easier when one has an established routine, and can carefully calibrate one's output.

The problem comes if, like me, you live with a human who enjoys exploring the undiscover'd country. So you have no idea when you set out, how long the walk will be, nor lie of the land. How then is a dog to determine his volume and frequency of releases?

Now please, girls, stop your sniggering!

I speak here of enterprises of great pith and moment.

Oh. Apparently I need to apologise to Mr William Shakespeare...


PS Many thanks for your amazing responses to my previous post. Boy have you set me some tough challenges!