The dog-human contract

It is part of the dog-human contract, as commonly understood, that whenever our human returns home, from work, social calls or, as we say in Scotland, doing the 'messages', then we dogs are ready to greet them with unlimited effervescent affection. Our role is to make them believe they are the most magnificent individual to ever walk the earth, and that without them our world is not complete.

I like to keep a look-out for Gail, although, unlike my next door neighbour Ruby Briard, I do this quietly. (What's with the constant barking anyway Roobs?)

This way I am ready to spring into action the second Gail crosses the threshold, with tail revved up to maximum wagging velocity and amplitude.

If the thought ever crosses my mind that she is anything other than total perfection incarnate, I keep it to myself.

Unless, that is, she has been been gone a long time out on her bicycle.

In which case she deserves the cold shoulder, and this behaviour on my part should not be considered a breach of contract.

Right?