Today, we return to the perennially fascinating topic of the bladder emptying habits of the male dog.
I expect some of my readers already saw reports of important recent research which concluded that small dogs pee higher up lampposts in order to appear bigger than they really are.
As so often with science, a new finding, while in itself interesting, prompts a whole host of further questions, all just begging to be addressed by some would-be Nobel Prize winning researcher.
For example, one wonders if exceptionally high pee-ers have an increased tendency to groin strain, and if so, might regular practice of doga mitigate the danger of such an injury?
Also, does the height of the pee decrease towards the end of a long walk, when a chap is tiring and the effort of elevating his rear limb might not seem so much worth the bother?
Has anyone ever investigated whether the urge to impress through pee height is particularly prevalent in adolescent dogs? (I believe that not dissimilar behaviour is sometimes observed in young males of sp. Homo sapiens....)
And how, I ask, do female dogs use urination as a means of asserting status?
Oh yes, and getting rather personal here, am I alone in occasionally getting confused about bodily functions and cocking my leg when doing a poop?
However, I have been known to topple over while peeing, especially on icy ground, an accident which I regret to inform you is generally met with laughter not sympathy from my unfeeling human.
I am still hoping to persuade Gail to collect data on the exact height of my carefully placed marks. But she seems strangely resistant to the idea, protesting that the thought of our neighbours spotting her taking photos of me peeing in the first place was quite embarrassing enough, and she really isn't prepared to have to explain to some curious passer-by why she is fumbling around the base of a tree with a tape measure while trying to locate the damp patch.
Sometimes one is forced to question Gail's commitment to the whole scientific endeavour.
