Showing posts with label anxieties. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxieties. Show all posts

Sunday, 16 February 2014

Torridon cattle grid blues...


Gail, have you not noticed? We have come to a cattle grid. It is your job to pick me up and carry me across.

Oh for heaven's sake Bertie, you’re a big boy now. Why not give it a go by yourself, just this once?

I don’t think so Gail. Cattle grids are very dangerous. Remember that time when I was a pup and in my youthful enthusiasm I jumped on the grate over by Loch Clair, and fell between the rails and I was all scared and panicky and you had to rescue me. These traumatic events early in one’s life make a lasting impression you know.

Really Bertie, that was a long time ago, when you had barely worked out how to control your legs (which after all were growing a rate of about a centimeter a day). You’re much better coordinated these days, I’m sure you could manage. 

I am totally not going to even try. Especially since you have your camera out. What would my sweetheart Addi think if I stumbled and she were to see a photo of me, legs flailing, sprawled all over the place like a drunken Torry quine on Union Street on a Saturday night?

Sigh. You are becoming as stubborn as Hamish. Who, incidentally, would have trotted confidently across this grid without a care in the world. Come on you big wuss.

Gail, you are forgetting that Hamish, a Westie, had the advantage of a low centre of gravity and bigger paws than me. And there is no need to be calling me names and making light of my deep-seated anxieties.

Bertie, I am so sorry. Don’t look at me like that.

Please carry me. Please. I am going to sit here until you come back and pick me up.


(After a lengthy stand off, Gail relents.)

All right then. You win. Again. Up and over we go.