Scottie talk

So here I am on the beach at Nairn (our favourite stop-off en route to Torridon), enjoying a break in the wintery weather, checking out some driftwood and minding my own business, when along come two Scotties and their owner.

Has it ever struck you that the conversations your human engages in with other dog owners are not of the highest intellectual  calibre? 

It seems a bit rich to be criticised as uncouth for sniffing each other's rear ends by way of introduction by a species that rarely ventures beyond "Oooh, SO cute. Boy or girl? What's his name? How old is he? Weather's not so bad today is it?"

(This final question is purely rhetorical. Unless it is freezing cold AND rain is bucketing down AND a gale is blowing AND visibility is at the 'can't see beyond the tip of your nose' range, the typical Scottish dogwalker will classify conditions as "nae bad".)

For the record, these Scottie guys are called Archie and Phoebe and they are, respectively, five and seven years old. It is agreed that we are all three exceptionally handsome terriers and that the weather is indeed "nae bad".

Later at the Torridon cottage I am pleased to see that Gail had packed some suitably brain stimulating reading material for the weekend, and live in hope of hearing her discussing the relevance of quantum decoherence to the Schrödinger's cat thought experiment, or the role of non-locality in avoiding violations of Special Relativity, with the next dog owner we run into....

Beats Brexit anyway.

In defence of my Scottie cousins...

I suspect my Down Under Scottie friends Bella and Macdui might have something to say about the issues raised in today's blog post...


Does your human ever read books containing unsuitable material?

Mine apparently does.

As followers of Final Fiction Friday will already be aware, Gail is currently immersed in Jenny Landreth's  'Swell: A Waterbiography'; a must read, it seems, for all those who take pleasure in voluntary aquatic submersion (not me, obviously).

I'll be honest, as soon as I spotted a book about swimming resting on the bedside table, a feeling of unease pervaded my perfectly formed body.

The fact that the book's main subject was the history of women's swimming, and not, for example, a tome devoted to 'how to bathe your dog in icy rivers', did little to allay my fears.

And my worst suspicions were confirmed when I read (in a chapter about the battle for men and women to be allowed to use the same swimming pool at the same time) the following shocking sentence:

One of the most vocal opponents to mixed bathing was a Tonbridge councillor, Mr David Clark, who raved that 'by making girls look like wet Scotch terriers, mixed bathing stops more marriages than any other cause'.

How dare he? JUST HOW DARE HE!!!

To use a simile linking ANY breed of terrier to marital undesirability is beyond outrageous. I'm sure you'll agree.

And by the way, I for one can think of many human females who would be delighted to be considered as attractive as a Scottie, no matter the state of that Scottie's furs...

Oh and finally, here's a reminder of handsome WFT, today out enjoying the freshly fallen snow.

Advice for Dui: Putting the Scot into Scottie

Today, we are welcoming a brand new Scottie pup, Dui, into the dog blogging community. He lives in Australia with his older sisters Bella and Roxy and he is named after Ben Macdui, the second highest mountain in Scotland. In his honour I have written a wee poem containing advice on being a proper Scot...

Your name is a good one, dear Dui my man,
And your human chose well with a simple Munro.
You could have been named Sgurr nan Ceathreamhnan,
Or Carn a' Coire Boidheach (shortened to Bo).

When you visit the vet to be vaccinated
You'll also be needing ID, like as not.
Just remember, a chip on both shoulders is said,
(By the English) to signal a well-balanced Scot.

And remember the kilt is traditional wear
For true Scottish males be they humans or dogs.
The lassies will think you so brave and so fair
When you're all fitted out in your best Highland togs.

But you might find it tricky, when Scotland's teams play
'Gainst Australia. You must choose which one you'll support.
(You'll find Scottish footballers have feet of clay,
Andy Murray means tennis is these days our sport.)

Our national dish haggis is affa scarce Down Under,
But it's worth searching out, I guarantee.
The meat is digestible; you will not 'chunder',
You'll love it, dear Dui, so try some for tea.

And lastly wee Dui, stay true to your breed type,
Yon Scottie dugs are couthy, braw and thrawn.
Just show those dingos what a well-bred pup's like;
They'll soon be wishing that they too were Scottish born.

ALL THE BEST, DEAR DUI!