A walk on the wild side...

You know how it is when you're given a promotion at work?

You think, isn't it great! Finally, I'll be trusted to get on with things by myself, to work independently, with no more too close supervision and irritating micro-management.

Life can be so disappointing.

You will all be aware by now that I was recently elevated from 'Assistant' to 'Associate' Webguide Volunteer for the VisitWoods Scotland project.

And you may remember that Gail and I have already had 'issues' about what that means in terms of who gets to choose which woods we visit.

Nonetheless, I have been operating under the entirely reasonable assumption that an Associate should be allowed to conduct his own inspections of local woods without the need for a hectoring human in close proximity.

We arrived at the entrance to Dunnottar Woods last Friday.

Oh it didn't take long to realise that there was plenty here worth checking out.

And then I caught a whiff of something most interesting in the dense undergrowth.

In such circumstances, I believe I am contractually obliged to conduct a thorough follow-up investigation. 

Look, remember I am an Associate now.

Really Gail made a most ridiculous fuss when she lost sight of me for a few minutes. I can scarcely bear to tell you what happened next, it is so humiliating.

She actually went and spoke to some other humans who were out walking their dogs, and asked if they'd seen a wire-haired fox terrier anywhere. She was on the point of giving them her mobile phone number when I ran back to tell her all about the red squirrels, rabbits and deer that I'd seen, and the wonderful, just wonderful foxy aroma that I simply had to follow through the ferns to the furthest reaches of the wood.

But instead of being impressed, Gail just clamped on my lead - the horror - and said firmly, "that's quite enough independence for today, my wee mannie, you're staying right by my side all the way back to the car". 

As if the promotion had never happened.