The tension mounts (a house divided)

So, now that I am back from my morning walk with my friend Sheila, I am going to explain to those of you unfamiliar with certain aspects of British culture, why tomorrow will be a tense day in the Bertie-Gail household.

It's all because of the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand. Scotland are playing England for a place in the quarter finals at 8:30 am, our time.

Now of course, being a typical Scot, my sporting interest revolves around a passionate desire to see England beaten. By absolutely anyone, anywhere, any time. But especially of course by Scotland.

Well, as you all know, the English are arrogant, smug, over-bearing, uptight, need I go on?

The tricky thing is that Gail is actually English. So long as she keeps her mouth shut, I can pretend otherwise. After all, she is pale-skinned and a bit freckly, not that arrogant, and the longer she stays in Aberdeen the more moths fly out on the rare occasions she opens her purse to buy me a treat... She fits in quite well here. But then she gives it all away the minute she calls out "Buh-tie", not "Bearrr-tie" when I am running around in the park. The shame.

And you know what REALLY GETS MY GOAT!!!

To hear Gail going round saying, in those oh so patronising English tones, things like "well I do like to see the Scotland team do well, on the whole, even though I basically support England".

Grrrrhhh. Can you hear me gnashing my teeth?

So Saturday morning could turn into a right stramash. Forget about being nice to the convalescent.

PS From Gail: 
Q: How do you spot a well-balanced Scotsman/dog? 
A: They'll have a chip on both shoulders.

So happy that things are back to normal ...

Well nearly, anyway.

I was let out of 'camp' this morning. I have to tell you I was ever so slightly miffed to learn that Gail had been back from hospital since Saturday, but I was so pleased to be home too I wasn't going to make a big deal about it.

She keeps singing the praises of something called 'keyhole surgery'. I don't know about that but I can tell you she has a bruise around her belly button more colourful than the fall foliage in a New England forest.

Oh, I am being told to change the subject, as some of my readers may be of sensitive disposition....

Well let me tell you, we are gearing up for Saturday's big Rugby World Cup game, Scotland versus England!

Meanwhile, I am going for walks in the park with a nice lady called Sheila, 'cos, can you believe, Gail has suddenly turned all lazy. (She is pretending it has something to do with the belly button thing).

A wee chat and a nice walk

What's that Gail, you want a wee chat? Then here I am, bounce bounce, on your lap, all (exceptionally cute) ears.

Well Bertie, the thing is, I'm going to have to go into hospital for a few days next week, it's all happened very suddenly and I only just found out, but don't worry, I'll be right as rain again before too long.


Oh dear Gail, what's the matter, it's not my fault is it?


Silly billy Bertie, of course it's not not your fault. It's one of those women's problems you see...


[Bertie looks very alarmed and quick as a flash puts his paws over his (exceptionally cute) ears.]
No, no, that's OK Gail, I quite understand, I really don't need to hear any more details, us males are very sensitive about these matters you know. Let's talk about something else shall we? Like, what's going to happen to me while you're away?

You're going to be going camping Bertie! No it's not the 'prison' it's somewhere you've not been before. It's a lovely camp, run by that nice Kevin at the agility club. You know, the instructor who said you were 'a fantastic dog'. Believe me you'll be having a lot more fun than me.


I s'pose. But how long until I can come home?

You'll be away about a week I think. But Bertie, now do listen to me, I'm afraid that when I come out of hospital I'll be feeling a bit delicate, and there certainly won't be any of this bouncing up on my lap for a good while. You do understand that don't you? And I won't have as much energy as usual and will only be able to take you for very short trots round the block. But Jake's owners have kindly promised to take you for some 'proper' walks too, so that'll be fun won't it?

Walks with Jake? Yippee!  Oh. And what about my blog?

Perhaps you'd better tell your readers that you won't be able to blog very much for the next week or so. But remember to say that you'll miss everyone and will be back as soon as possible.


Oh I will miss my bloggie pals. But hey, Gail, this is all a bit boring, can we post some pictures of the nice walk we had by the River Dee yesterday afternoon? After all, my readers don't come by this blog to read about horrid hospitals do they?

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So. Here I am by the River Dee, just upstream from Banchory. It's been raining so much lately that the banks were on the verge of bursting, and the rapids were very, well, rapid.

We normally see men in waders standing in the water fly fishing on this stretch of the river, but I think today they'd have been swept away.

We did encounter one fishing party, but they were concentrating on the party side of things (I saw wine, whisky, yummy looking sandwiches and cakes on the picnic table).

I went inside to inspect their little hut. No-one seemed to mind. Gail said the man in the wellies looked like something out of 'Monarch of the Glen', which I believe was a BBC TV series best watched with the sound turned down so you could enjoy the scenery without bothering about the lame plots.

We saw another bigger cabin later.

But this one said 'private' so Gail didn't let me go and inspect it. I did at least get a close look at the Land Rover. So much more impressive than our puny little Mini.......

Yes it was a jolly nice walk, all in all.

Missing you already.

Absolutely not the thin end of the wedge

OK now I want to make things quite clear here. I agreed JUST THIS ONCE to wear a bandana to show my support for Scotland in their remaining Rugby World Cup fixtures.

This is not a precedent, the thin end of the wedge, the slippery slope to wearing a tutu, no sir!

But oh I am so excited about this rugby tournament. If fact I am quite prepared to fly out to New Zealand and offer my services to the Scotland team. I have been practicing my tackling and rucking and scrummaging skills on the back lawn and would be ready and willing to bite any opponent if required. What I lack in bulk and paw-to-eye co-ordination I make up for in spades with terrier attitude.

PS Gail assures me that the bandana doesn't look at all girlie. She is telling the truth isn't she? Don't laugh.