Monday 2 January 2017

Blogville's Director of Scientific Affairs speaks


Bouncing Bertie Boffin here!

On this auspicious occasion of the inauguration of Blogville's new mayor Arty, and vice-mayor Mabel, I wish to say a word or three about my role as the Director of Scientific Affairs.

But first I would like to congratulate all the citizens of Blogville for once again showing their wisdom and good judgement in selecting a leadership team of whom we can all, without question, be proud.

In some sections of the media, it is held that we now live in a 'post-truth' world.

To those who might be nervous about such a prospect, I would like to reassure you that when you visit my blog, the material you read will be evidence-based, and any assertions made will have been subjected to rigorous scrutiny in accordance with the scientific method.

I regard it as my mission in Blogville to promote a rational approach to life's big questions, supported by experimental data where possible.

For example, let me tell you about an important scientific experiment being conducted chez Bertie this winter, and concerning wire-fox terrier grooming rituals.

Although us WFT's are deemed to be, if not 100% 'non-shedders', then something pretty close, there is a theory out there that if our coats are allowed to grow long, they will eventually reach a stage where they are ready to 'blow' and thus the usually somewhat uncomfortable hand stripping process becomes, so to speak, a walk in the park.

Gail has always been a tad sceptical about this theory, and up until last September I was subjected to a 'little and often' stripping regime, maintaining my furs at an average sort of length.

This winter we decided, in the interests of science you understand (and absolutely nothing to do with my human having arthritic thumbs) to let my furs go untouched all winter, and then have a 'big strip' come Spring. At which point I shall be able properly to assess the levels of comfort or discomfort experienced.

All scientific experiments require some form objective measurement criteria, and I have proposed that the ease of stripping be measured in terms of number of pigs' ears needed to keep me quiet during the stripping process.

Of course I shall be reporting in full on the results of this experiment in due course.

Meanwhile, if any Blogville citizens have burning questions about science, or, even better, ideas for experiments to help advance our understanding of issues of importance to our community, please do get in touch. I can be contacted via comments on this blog or via email at Bouncing(dot)Bertie(at)outlook(dot)com.

Finally, I would like you all to raise your glasses to the future of Blogville, and to respect for FACTS, EVIDENCE and RATIONAL THINKING!

Oh yes, and Happy New Year to all my lovely friends!


 

26 comments:

  1. Happy New Year.
    It's good to know that we can read your blog, Bertie, and know that your comments are based on solid scientific facts.
    That stripping in the Spring will be interesting, and we can't wait to see how many pillows Gail will be able to fill with your luxuriant fur!
    If you lived near us, you could watch our peep try to strip the worst from Petite-Chose's coat - she could moult for the Universe! Usually peep uses the Dyson and has to empty the cylinder several times, and still there's more to come. Last time, Petite-Chose went to the vet and it cost 60 euros to have her washed and stripped, and she was shedding again within a couple of weeks !
    Now that could be the basis for some more scientific analysis, don't you think?

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  2. We sometimes forget to say this is from us - Petite-Chose and Inca, but we bet you knew that !

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    1. I had indeed deduced that the above comment was not from a human! And it is always good to hear from you, Petite-Chose and Inca.

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    2. Well you never know - our human has quite a cold nose sometimes !

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  3. We're with you. We'd love to read some scientifically based 'truths'...a change from last year.

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  4. No strippin all winter?

    Uh, are dere a way to sign up for dis experiment??

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    1. You need to have a word with the momma about that!

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  5. Oh Bertie the things you do for the sake of Science and keeping everyone informed! I have a burning question to add to this experiment!
    Of course it is related to that WFT tail cause you know I'm obsessed with it right?
    If your tail disappears in all your furs during the winter, will you please tie a red ribbon around where it is supposed to be so I can 'think' I see it? Thank you for considering this for itty bitty kitty me
    Hugs madi your bfff

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  6. Hari OM
    My word that is an experiment of patience, but a worthy one, fur sure!!! You could definitely show those pollies a thing or two about supporting evidence, no doubt about it. Here's to a wonderfurs year in Blogville - the place of Love and Truth!!! Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx
    (who will not be commenting for a while now... but don't fret, I'll be keeping an eye-on...)

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  7. WE are SURE that you will astonish and amaze us with your PURE scientific discoveries in the coming months... We can TRUST you to give us the TRUTH the "HOLE" Truth and nothing butt the Truth.

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  8. Bertie - Thick fur and Aberdeen winters go together.

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  9. Bertie, we need your critical scientific thinking in the White House....

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  10. Congrats on your pawsition, friend!

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  11. We are glad you are continuing in this pawsition cuz you do it so well!!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley
    Mayorz Emeritus

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  12. What a grand experiment and we can't wait to hear the results of the non stripping!

    I also feel very lucky to have such a knowledgeable Peehd on staff for all our scientific needs!!
    Smileys!
    Mayor Arty

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  13. How interesting ! Can't wait to hear the results ! Happy New Year ! Purrs

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  14. Bertie that sounds like a great experiment and we are so happy you are continuing as Director of Scientific Affairs!
    hugs
    Vice Mayor Mabel

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  15. Thank you for your service to Blogville, Bertie. We look to you for answers to All things Science!
    ♥♥ Wyatt and Tegan

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  16. We are anxious to discover if you will indeed blow your coat. Pierre is a Westie and he isn't supposed to shed, but he does leave his hair around.

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  17. Crikey Bertie .... you were made for this job, mate?? I know you'll do a great job. As for the scientific experiment re your coat. Good luck with that one!! Mum tried it with our Lucy once and she just found it took longer with more brushing and grooming needed throughout winter. When our Lucy turned 10 Mum clipped her. Figured it was kinder to her and if her saddle lost a bit of colour it didn't really matter. As for the non shedding bit. Lucy shed like a bitch!! Maybe that had something to do with our climate though.
    I've got a few questions I need answering but I'll let you settle into the new role before I bother you.

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    1. Gail here: Charlie, I am already tiring of the all additional washing and de-mudding, and it is doubtful whether I will have the patience to let this experiment run its full course! Bertie sheds very little, and I fear we are just storing up problems in letting his furs grow. His tail already looks like a husky's! And it has not even been very cold so far this winter, so Bertie has not benefited much from his thicker coat.
      Meanwhile, we are both looking forward to Charlie's questions about science!

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  18. Looking forward to hear the progress of the non-stripping experiment. I love to read of your scientific trials. More furs should mean keeping warmer without a jumper anyway - nose licks and love from Moth xx

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  19. rationality you are so wise Bertie, 2016 was a year devoid of rationality lets hope 2017 wont be, but even if it is im glad blogville will be rational

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  20. Hi hi hi! Ojo here! Ooooh, experiments! I am wondering what angle is best for digging for catching mice in winter. Do you have any suggestions for me?

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    1. Hi Ojo, great question! As I am not an enthusiastic digger, and have never cuaght a mouse, this is not something I can answer based on personal experience, and so I shall have to consider the problem from a theoretical perspective. May I get back to you when I have had time to examine the problem more deeply...

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  21. Haha! Happy New Year, Bernie!

    Hope you had a good Christmas too and that you've gotten some good gifts :)

    /Adam - The Doggy Institute

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