But Gail, it is impossible to do anything in this extreme heat. It was 24ºC in Aberdeen this afternoon! Now let's think, ((24x(9/5))+32. Wow. 75ºF! No-one can be expected to work in those temperatures, surely?
Bertie dear lad, I think I can hear the guffaws of your readers from distant lands. And even those from England. And I'm not hearing about your compatriot Andy Murray going on strike at Wimbledon just because of a few rays of warm sunshine.
Well OK Gail, I admit I am behind with my analysis. You see the Darwin-lite entries were of such a high standard (and one or two were, frankly, painful to read), so it is going to be VERY DIFFICULT to choose which one gets the prize. In fact I am quite exhausted with the stress.
Dear little Bertie, you are tired after all. Now I'll tell you what. We are travelling down to Nottingham tomorrow to spend a few days with Human Granny. It is a long train journey. Seven hours, and that's if everything goes smoothly. So we will have plenty of time to review thoroughly the stories from your friends and decide which of them best illustrates the failure of natural selection in the human species.
Hmmm. I suppose we can do that. But what if we get distracted by other passengers telling us the life stories of all the dogs they ever owned? You know that happens quite often when we travel together on the train.
Bertie, we will just have to frown intently at the MacBook and state that we have important scientific data to analyse. I'm sure they'll move on pretty quickly…
Er, I guess so.