Wednesday 15 October 2014

A plea to the badgers of Cragmoor Road


No need to prove it Mr Brock,
That you are strong is clear.
I see you rolled aside this rock
And dug under the hedge right here.

You black and white guys with the good PR,
Wise Friend to Ratty, Mole and Mister Toad,
Admired by wildlife lovers near and far,
Though not the folk who live on Cragmoor Road,

Have you a notion what distress
These night time raids cause? So much damage done
By scratching up the grass, as if
You sought first prize in excavation?

For decades my beloved HGD
Nurtured his back lawn with tender care.
Now Human Granny worries night and day
That his hard work is wasted, and despairs.

So Mister Badger I am begging you,
Go dig your worms on someone else’s lawn.
It is so sad. Dear Human Granny, who
Cared long and lovingly for HGD with all her strength,
Feels she has let him down now he is gone.

23 comments:

  1. Poor Human Granny. But we like Badgers, or we think we might, we've only seen them on nature shows.

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  2. What a great poet you are Bertie.
    Hope Mr Badger was listening
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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  3. Oh how sweet Bertie. Mr Badger sure is naughty. Not sure what the answer is? Have a wonderful Wednesday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  4. Looks like you need some badger repellent

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  5. Crikey Bertie tell Dear human Granny not to worry. She's not letting HGD down and I'm sure he would be the first one to tell her not to worry if he could. Those badgers just don't understand the trouble they are causing, aye?? Your poem is wonderful and so is your Dear human Granny.

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  6. seems they got their name with a reason, huh? I thought they live far away from people, it's bad that they ruined your granny's lawn... maybe they run away when you bark in their hole?

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  7. BERTIE DEAREST WHAT A PREDICAMENT...IT IS TOO MUCH FOR ONE WFT TO HANDLE. DID YOU KNOW THAT DACHSHUNDS ARE BADGER HUNTERS...MAYBE YOU NEED TO FORM A DOXIE POSSE!!! WE ARE SO SORRY YOUR HGM IS SO WORRIED.
    HUGS ALL AROUND MADI YOUR BFFF

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  8. PS FORGIVE ME FOR FAILING TO COMMEND YOUR ON YOUR FINE POEM
    mADI

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  9. Hari OM
    Oh dear, a conundrum. Nature is as nature does and has no thought for 'them and us'... Bertie, your poem puts this conundrum so well. I wonder if there are folk like we have in OZ (WIRES...wildlife information, rescue & emergency services) who come and remove unwelcome possums, wombats and roos.... taking them back to less populated parts? Still, the brocky blokes are on alert now you have taken their measure! Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

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  10. BERTIE..... WE are BADGER HOUNDS (Dachshunds) and we would be THRILLED to lend our paws...
    I (Frankie Furter) have Deaded Ground Moles... and ERNIE just recently Deaded his furst ever Chipmunk... so we are Pawpared to help you with this ... if you want us to.

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  11. You better have a talk to that Mr. Badger
    Snorts,
    Lily & Edward

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  12. Aw dang it! We hate that HGM is upset. Pesky buggers!! I am a hunter so I will start saving green papers for a plane ticket and we will double team them!!!

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  13. How could badger resist
    Retro rover

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  14. Your pleas I mean!!!
    Retro rover

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  15. Oh no, so sorry to hear about this naughty badger! Hope your special plea works.

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  16. I think HGM needs a pack of noisy diggin badger removing Scottie's! However, it would be noisy night work and the neighbors might complain. Maybe Doxies are less rackety. We have a high pitched kill screech when we go after possums and raccoons in the hedges. Two or three black stealth Scottie's should clear them out in a hurry. Maybe you have some furiends that could come visit for a week and help out.

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  17. Think about getting HGM a feisty little terrier like you (but maybe tougher) who would get after those denizens of the night, plus keep her company during the day. Might be just the thing. Your pal, Stella

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  18. Hey Bertie!
    Wow, what a lovely ode to a rotten badger! BWAR HAR HAR Maybe he'll dig so deep he'll end up in someone else's garden.
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, Pol Comm

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  19. Where's Puddles when you need her??

    -Bart

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  20. Ode to a Badger, tis a great one, but fear we do, it will go unheeded!

    The Mad Scots

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  21. Bertie - Don't get your nose too close. Their teeth arev sharp !

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  22. Bertie you and Gail are correct the huuuuge Rock is granite!
    Hugs Madi your bfff

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