There has been a disturbing new development chez Bertie.
Personally I blame Bronia.
This is me with Bronia and her husband Peter on a walk in Sherwood Forest in Nottinghamshire last month. Bronia and Gail have been friends since the Dark Ages. Apparently when they shared a flat as students, Gail was quite a keen knitter. (Yes, I am as surprised as you are, dear reader.)
So anyway, Bronia's Christmas gift to Gail was a "knit your own bicycle saddle cover" kit. Well we all know that my owner is far too fond of cycling. But I was pretty confident that her knitting days were behind her.
How wrong I was!
Maybe you are thinking "Bertie what is the matter with that (aside from the hideous colour and ludicrous concept)?"
Let me explain my fears.
You know the idea of a 'gateway drug'? Tobacco leads to cannabis leads to heroin then crack cocaine etc. My fears that this absurd seat cover might be an example of 'gateway knitting' were greatly compounded when Gail showed me the ball of wool left over and said "Bertie, perhaps there's enough here for me to make a wee sweater for you, how would you like that?"
Friends, please reassure me that I was being teased.
Just in case Gail was serious, I decided take matters into my own paws (and jaws).
PS Gail insists that I post these two photos of her bicycle on top of a big hill called Cairn O'Mount, which she claims to have cycled all the way up on Saturday morning, although I cannot verify that statement as I WASN'T INVITED TO ACCOMPANY HER.
1 hour ago