Friday, 11 November 2011

Hand-me-downs and duck tape

Maybe some of you out there in the wider world are not aware of Aberdeen's reputation in Scotland.

Whereas in England they make jokes about all Scots being too careful with the pennies, north of the border, stinginess is a trait attributed in particular to the Aberdonians.

No dog would want a tight-fisted owner would they? I remember being a bit nervous when I was a tiny wee pup and was told I'd be going to live in the 'Granite City'. Would I ever be bought treats, I wondered? My mind was set at rest when I learned that my owner Gail was a migrant from England, presumably free from any genetic tendency to excessive frugality.

Events this week have forced me to conclude that environment trumps DNA.

Do you remember I mentioned in my last post that I was thinking of requesting a raincoat for Christmas?

No soon as I'd pressed the 'publish post' button, than Gail came bounding downstairs brandishing this...

...and saying "Bertie there's no need at all to go writing letters to Lapland. I have just the thing for you. Look, I bought this lovely red jacket for your predecessor Hamish two Christmases ago, but he only lived a few weeks after that so it's as good as new!"

Leaving aside the questionable taste issue of wearing a dead dog's clothes, I expect you, like me, have spotted another big flaw in Gail's proposal.

She can't possibly imagine that I'm going to parade around Aberdeen with 'Hamish' embroidered across my back, can she? (Fine old chap though I'm sure he was.)

My friends would be most confused, and might accuse me of disrespect.

"Oh but I've thought of that Bertie," said Gail, always the clever clogs. "I've been reading all about different uses of duck tape on Frankie Furter's blog this week and it gave me an idea".

Frankie, you might be Mayor of Blogville but you have much to answer for.

Can you believe anyone could be so cheap?

I am pleased to report that the story has a happy ending. I am at the skinnier end of the WFT spectrum, whereas those of you who knew Hamish will remember him as a solid, sturdy Westie.

So it turns out that the jacket is totally the wrong shape for me, especially around the neck area. And I know full well that Gail is useless at needlework so I think I'm safe after all.

Can anyone recommend a WFT shaped coat? Stylish, hardwearing and waterproof, please.

PS. For the post in which Hamish proudly modelled his new red jacket click here.


  1. Blimey, that was a narrow escape mate! I wear dead dogs clothes as well, now you've mentioned it I might put in a complaint. At least I got a new waterproof jacket as my predecessor was bigger than me, but is it right to sleep in a dead dogs fleece...? Deccy x

  2. Bertie - That old Doric saying " look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves ".

    The collar is very svelte .

  3. Oh Bertie, our mom is laughing so hard that she is tearing up!! We hope you get this sorted out!!

    -Bart and Ruby

  4. Hey Bertie-Bud,
    You think you've got it bad? Maxmom forces me to use a lead which, in bold letters, is written:
    RUFFITWOOD: 'Dancing Spring'
    My name:
    RUFFITWOOD: 'Out of Africa'
    Can't she just stick with 'TOBY'?
    As for your jacket? You seem to be 'Swimming' in Hamish's jacket...defeats the purpose, don't you agree? I think we support your cause: NEW JACKET FOR BERTIE! Stingy Aberdeenians..!

  5. There are tears coming out of my eyes, this post was so funny. I love the new use of the ducktape!

  6. Bertie - We can understand your embarassment over the whole episode, but as DUCK TAPE kon-a-sewers we just have to say we think it's GENIUS of your Mom! Kind of looks like your off to camp with your name taped on your coat that way :) And the fit looks fine to us! Good job!

    The Road Dogs

  7. Well now that I have been able to get off the Floor and back on the Chair.. I can tell you that I am totally LAFFIN my TAIL off here!!!! TOOOOOO funny. My mom ... being of Scot decent.. OR DE-Scent... can be totally FRUGAL and is now Forcing MY Ernie to wear.. my Outgrown stuffs.. PLUS some ... two legger BABY stuffs too! BaaaaaaWaaaaah..
    Butt she would NEVER have thought to Use DUCK TAPE to cover something... Inappropriate.. like YOUR mom did.
    GRRRRRRREAT POST BUDDY. Perfect Ending fur the Duck Tape Week!!!!
    I just HOPE that SHE doesn't suddenly get the Idea to Fold and Tape to try and make it FIT your Sleek Body!!!

  8. BOL Bertie! Mommy and I are both laughing our tails off! Your mom is pretty smart using that duct tape though. Good luck finding a perfect Bertie coat!


  9. I'm kind of partial to that big "Bertie" on the butt.

  10. hey Bertie,

    Narrow escape! I don't think wearing Hmaish's hand-me-downs are as bad as wearing something with your name in large letters on duck tape! Woof about embarrassing!

    It is a pawsome jacket, though, and it looked very dapper on Hamish!


    p.s. My human said that the tile floor in the Hamish jacket post is beautiful. :->

  11. No one will ever know

    Stop on by for a visit

  12. Duck tape comes in very handy! Well maybe no one will know?

    Big Nose Pokes
    The THugletsx

  13. That's given us a great morning!

    Oh well at least the duck(t) tape matched the jacket!!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

  14. Oh that made us laugh. Your Gail is funny. Mum's not Scottish but she did have five kids so can be pretty handy with recycling clothes and thingys. Oh Oh. Hope you get a new coat soon. P.S. Your Hamish looked fine in that red coat. He was a handsome fellow. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

  15. Oh dear, I fear those things happen here too. Always with the recycled collars and beds and whatnot. I am glad that the hand me down jacket was not a proper fit. Seriously, you deserve your own coat.


  16. BOL...Bertie your tape matches the silver belt....hilarious
    Benny & Lily

  17. Oh sorry Bertie.......have to wait till I stop laughin' - what a great post - it was funny I was thinkin' "duck tape" as soon as I saw Hamish's name (maybe I have a little Scot in ME!! BOL!) I'm sure I'm German!!

    Still hope you score your own coat of your dreams real soon!

    Tail Wuggles, Rubie

  18. As a very good friend of Hamish's, I would love to tell you what he would say about this! " Bertie, m'boy," he would say, "get down off your high horse and wear my beautiful red coat!" "You're not a model, just a dog who needs some protection from the elements and now you have it."
    I must say, I agree with him, too!


  19. Oh Bertie, What can we say. Like all those before us, we are going to have to stop laughing long enough to think of something to say.



    still laughing



    Oh heck, we can't think right now, I guess for the time being you are gonna have to go around in the monstrous red jacket with the duck tape name tag.



    Still laughing.

    Bert and My Vickie

  20. Bertie, m'lad - it's really not tailored to fit you, we agree. It makes you look a bit broad in the beam, which we know you are not. And if it leaks water around your neck, what is the point? There must be a deprived Westie somewhere in Aberdeen who would appreciate a nice red coat.

    However, we don't mind using heirloom doggie stuff, as long as it fits us. Most of mama's heirloom stuff was for Danes, but we've figured out how to chew on Dane-sized bones and rip up Dane-sized stuffies with no problems. And we slept on Dane sized beds until it was time to replace them, which we kind of liked.

    Anyway, good luck getting a proper WFT raincoat.

    Jed & Abby

  21. Bertie
    We totally understand the name thing and WOW!! that was a good idea for Gail to do with the tape.
    Hope you get a coat that fits you much better.

    Jazzi and addy

  22. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO You must not let this happen . You MUST let her dry you off with a towel and then get mud all over the floor while you walk to the bathroom and dry yourself more on her towel.... Listen we don';t usually do this but let her read Chapter 4 /12 maybe that will help.. If not call me on my cell I have LOADS of other ideas.. A + A

  23. Oh dear....Bertie...your name isn't Hamish, my dear...and that coat seems a tad large...was Hamish that substantial? We must go look at the pic supplied by your mom....Katie and Sparky's mom can make you a coat...she's amazing at sewing...custom fit!!!


    Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley

  24. Wow, I just found your blog, Bertie, and also read some of Hamish's. I'm a Westie, just like Hamish was, and I'm from Dublin, Ireland (currently living in Australia, but, would you believe it, hoping to head to Aberdeen next year!). I love your blog - I've only read a few posts but I'll be back for more. I was laughing a lot when I read it!!! I'm so glad that you have such a happy home and you've brought so much happiness to your owners. Hamish would be proud of you, I'm sure!

    Woof for now.


  25. The humans have tears running down their cheeks from laughing so hard. We, on the other hand, don't see what's so funny.

    Jake and Fergs