Sunday, 22 May 2011

My Dog Tulip: the verdict

So Gail came back from the cinema with her friends Yvonne and Neil (that's Jake Flat-Coated Retriever's parents) and they opened a bottle of wine. I cuddled up on the sofa and eavesdropped:

"Well I think I was right in suspecting that that film would only appeal to someone who's lived with dogs."

"No really, they did seem just to concentrate on all the most unpleasant aspects of dog ownership."

"And wasn't Tulip's owner Joe horrid and selfish? I think his obsession with 'marrying' his Alsatian said more about his own personal frustrations perhaps."

"Well it's the only film I've seen showing a dog scooting across the carpet, followed by a graphic account of treatment for anal gland problems. You have to be impressed with that."

"I couldn't help but smile at the bit where he's carefully describing how Tulip's posture is different for a 'properly evacuating' pee and a 'marking' pee."

"Yes I never realised that there was a difference for bitches too."

"You know, I thought of Hamish so many times. The way the dog barked when the sister went into the owner's private room. Remember how Hamish used to do just that when anyone but me sat on this sofa? Bertie doesn't seem to mind, so far at least. Then there was the problem with attacking the vet, just like with Hamish, we had to resort to a muzzle. Oh and Hamish was never too successful with the lady dogs either."

"Now when was that film set? The 1950's? Clearly before the invention of poo bags. When did people start using poo bags by the way? I remember when I was a child you were supposed to train the dog to 'go' in the gutter."

"And what about that scene where Tulip has diarrhoea in the bedroom of the friend's house? And Joe tries to mop it up with the newspaper." 

"What do you think is worse to clear up? Diarrhoea or sick?"

"Oh diarrhoea, definitely. Do have another glass of wine."

"No I think vomit. Oh, thanks, just a small one then."

"But wasn't it sad when Tulip had the puppies and they were all given away to just anybody."

"Well I'd kind of lost interest by then. Did it really hold your attention all the way through Gail?"

"Well it did, kind of. It was a fascinated horror at times, admittedly. And maybe I identified with the 'single person and dog' relationship theme. Although I won't exactly be recommending the film to too many other friends."

"I did at least think the art work was beautiful."

"Yes. And I loved the music."

"Me too. Oh well, it's getting late. We better go back across the road and check that Jakey's OK."

"Well goodnight then. Thanks for coming along. Perhaps you should choose the film next time! Wake up Bertie! Time for your pre-bedtime trot round the block."


  1. Hi Bertie
    From what you overheard Gail saying I will give that one a miss ;)
    It will be on the TV soon so Gail might let you watch it, at least if you get bored you can turn it over ;)
    Have a good week
    See Yea George xxx

  2. Dog owners conversations . A universal language unknown to those who don't have to deal with 'motions' .

  3. Read the book and wasn't impressed with his obsession that she stay in tact, even considering killing any puppies she might have. Don't think I'll see the film.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

  4. Hey Bertie,
    Sounds like a snoozer and guess you didnt miss anything big!!


  5. I think it sounds pretty interesting. Mum agrees about the artwork looking pretty and it always good to get the perspective of how things were in the past. It just be different back then.

  6. Hee hee, we hear similar conversations and they are always with other dog lovers, other friend just think our humans are barking! Dex & Lou x

  7. Thanks for the review. I think I'll stick to MI-5.


  8. We'll probably just stick to Lady and the Tramp or Wizard of Oz - they are more our speed. BOL!!

    Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh, Ruairi and The Sweet Babes

  9. Thanks for the review! Mom's been wanting to see that, and is waiting for it to come out on DVD or Netflix.


  10. Thanks for correcting our spelling - we even knew the right way to spell it and spelled it wrong - can't even blame it on spellcheck as it take it either way.

    Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh, Ruairi and The Sweet Babes

  11. I don't think I would like this film at all. I am glad that you kinda.. Warned us about it.

  12. That's hilarious... runny poo or sick indeed. I like the art work very much.

  13. Because I require captioning on films, I wait for the DVD to come out. As kids, we used to sit in the theater and cry when a dog or horse was hurt in any way. I still do . . .so much for growing up!


    Jo and Stella

  14. I agree with Angus. It's amazing what intelligent people can converse about - and be genuinely interested in!! Enjoy being a dog, Bertie! We do :-)

  15. I don't know how you were able to stay awake during all that talkie talk. I mean I almost feel asleep reading it! BOL

    Good thing you weren't invited to the movie huh Bertie?

    woo woos, Tessa

  16. LOL, your Gail is dog people. Mama couldn't help but giggle at the transcript of that discussion ;)

  17. don't think it sounds very exciting...
    Benny & Lily

  18. hey Bertie,

    Interesting, and a bit funny, film review by your human, Gail, and her friends. My human says she will pass as it does not sound like a fun, or interesting, movie to see. But thanks for letting us know about it. We have never even heard of it.

    And sorry to hear Hamish was not successful with the ladies. :-<

    Hope you were able to have sweet dreams after listening to that talk!


  19. Boy. Should we watch it, or not? We heard Moma say she's totally on the fence. When she read that there was a "single person and a dog" theme, she sorta kinda leaned toward a "yes". But we're not sure.

    Jake and Fergs

  20. Yes, it does say Hamish . Bought in Harrods pet store about 2 months ago. Full name Hamish McBeth the potato man . Must be some Chinese joke about the Scots . Squeaker lasted all of fifteen seconds . Wilf alternates between savaging it and using it as a pillow .

  21. Hey there Bertie Bud...
    That sounds like a horror-movie to me. Maxmom thinks she'll give it a miss. But hey, if you don't enjoy the movies...there's always your beautiful parks to fall back on.
    Maxmom says thanks for all the good wishes.

  22. I'd not heard of the book or the film - but think I'll give it a miss now too.

    I don't pay much attention to films on the TV and the LOTH doesn't like anything sad about animals at the cinema. Especially those sneaky films that start off all smiley and jokey and lots of fun stuff and then BAM!!! And next thing she knows there's tears dribbling down her neck.

    And yes I AM considering a super-injunction against the white cat Peeping Tom before they become extinct. (Super injunctions that is. Not white cats. They're not likely to be extinct any time soon more's the pity)

    Love and licks, Winnie x

  23. Sounds like the movie was honest but not anything like we want to see happening to dogs these days (except for the diarrhea/vomit issue, which is always going to happen at one time or another no matter what).