Thursday, 13 January 2011

Excluded, rejected, abandoned...

Everything is NOT right with the world today!

Can you believe that Gail is going to see a film about my namesake* and is refusing to take me along?

Several exceptionally feeble reasons have been given:

1. Dogs are not allowed in the cinema.
2. My attention span does not stretch to 118 mins.
3. I have supposedly nothing in common with the 'Bertie' in the film, King George VI, who is described by one commentator as having been 'dry as dust... remote and unnatural communicator with very little to communicate...'

First off, is it really true that dogs can't go to the cinema? I have been checking out the brochure and noticed that the Belmont has special showings for parents with babies (the 'Big Scream'), it has 'autism friendly' evenings, it even lets students in!  So why not 'The Big Bark?'  And anyway, in this weather, surely Gail could smuggle me in under that huge and unflattering jacket that she wears for early morning walks in the park? (Yes, I mean the one she was given for free about a decade ago, designed for XXL oil men working on North Sea rigs in winter).

Secondly, I would like to remind Gail of who won the 'longest sit' contest at our final puppy class party. Proof, obviously, of exceptional powers of concentration.

Thirdly, being a terrier, by nature independent minded, I would appreciate the chance to judge the movie for myself. I know that I was named after a different, and fictional, Bertie (Wooster) but since other folk sometimes wonder if Gail chose my name out of admiration for our Royal Family (highly improbable, admittedly) I feel I should be allowed the opportunity to learn a bit more about this other Bertie chappie.

Don't you agree?

*The King's Speech.


  1. Bertie, a movie about two beings, of different status and temprement who forge a bond -- through building trust and respect -- and form a life-long friendship?

    I definitely thing you AND Gail would enjoy it. Plus, the acting is superb. And Colin Firth is -- he's captivating. A must see for K-9 and Human alike.

    -The Rottens

  2. Bertie - Bet your attention span would stretch to 118 minutes if there was a large carton of popcorn on somones lap.

  3. Oh Bertie, that sounds as dry as dust!
    Indeed we did think of some current members of the Royal Family in your description of the King!
    We firmly believe the Royal corgis have more pawsonality!
    You would be much better off at home - insist on an extra long walk so that you are sleepy and have a snooze.
    That is probably what Gail will end up doing during the movie anyway...........!
    Martha and Bailey xxx
    ps of course you could always come visit with your Aunties and we will take you deer hunting!

  4. Very persuasive argument, Bertie.

    XXXOOO Daisy, kendra & Bella

  5. I can see where cinema might leave the average doggy bored and restless, but a doggy of your intellectual talent is a different matter. At the very least, exceptions should be made, Bertie. In the meantime, insist that Gail get it for you when it's on DVD.

  6. I think that sounds pretty boring to be honest Bertie. But I still thinks you is right to want to go. We should always go with out people, cos they might be telling fibs and is really going to the butchers or the beach or something.
    I would suggest destroying something while Gail be gone.
    ~lickies, Ludo

  7. Bewtie
    It's twooly shameful that doggies can't go to the cinema

    I've been pondewing this pwoblem too..I like youw thoughts on going undew Gail's big jacket..I'm suwe no one would notice and I think you should cewtainly be able to see this and evewy othew film wif the name Bewtie in it. Mommi loves Bewtie woostew in books and films and she went to see the King's speach wifout me too and loved it..I howevew wasn't intewested in hew opinion..she didn't take me eithew
    smoochie kisses
    pee ess Im suwe we'we much bettew behaved than nine tenths of the wowlds hooman pups..the wowld is unfaiw little Bewtie..a sad lesson we have to leawn

  8. Our pawrents have the pawfect solution, thank doG: they wait until the movie they want to see is on cable and then we all cuddle up on the couch to watch it together. With popcorn, which I, Jake, in particular, absolutely love.

    The King's Speech is high on their list and mom is a bit impatient (she has a crush on Colin Firth)-- but we know we'll get to see it soon.

    Might that be a solution to Gail's misbehavior in leaving you out of the fun?

    Wirey love,

    Jake and Just Harry

    PS Did she enjoy the film????

  9. Well your arguments are very valid and should be taken into consideration by Gail at once!

    Nubbin wiggles,

  10. Bertie,
    Maybe Gail thinks that you're a wee bit young yet for the pictures, but my advice to you is let her know in no uncertain fashion that you have to see it too, especially one about "Bertie". P.S. I bet she didn't mention that snacks are served!

  11. Nutty. Who makes up these cinema rules anyhow?
    Benny & Lily

  12. We think you need to go, if for no other reason than the popcorn. Assuming your theaters serve popcorn. Do they?

    Good luck. We'll be anxious to learn the outcome.

    Jake and Fergi (who appreciate your sticking with us during the moma-imposed hiatus)

  13. Bertie
    You raise some good points and I do totally agree with you. Throw in a few pices of popcorn and you will be good as GOLD!! Good luck!!


  14. Bertie I have to say, I would find it quite borning, may be I'm a dog of very little brain!!!
    But the thought of sitting in a room with up to 200 or more peeps, in the dark, no thanks!!!
    Hey I have to tell you, Dad got a question right on mastermind, all because of your Earth science class LOL!!! so you see we did learn something
    See Yea George xxx

  15. We share your outrage at the species discrimination that is so insideous in most cultures around the world, including ours. In the U.S., more homes have pets than have kids, so you'd think the purveyors of public entertainment would be happy to sell the extra tickets to well behaved canines. However, you would probably enjoy the movie more on DVD, curled up on the sofa with a nice bowl of popcorn. And you do know there's a wonderful TV series about Bertie Wooster & Jeeves available on DVD now, with Hugh Laurie & Stephan Fry? It's one of mama's favorites. If you don't have it already, tell Gail to get it for you. You'll howl with laughter.

    Jed & Abby

  16. Oh, Dear Bertie...that movie here is rated R...Restricted. Mumsie wouldn't let us go either. She said that it was for rough language. Well the whole film is about speech, so what's wrong with language. Did your mom like it? Mumsie adored it...totally!!

    Now, I suggest you buy a broom. I have a purple one I use for transportation when my brothers and I need to go's a bit tricky to get the flyin' part down, but you being a clever foxy wire should have no trouble!


    Miss Lacie

  17. Sounds like a good plan to be smuggled inside the big jacket!

    Hoomans have silly rules sometimes...they just don't seem understand us!

    Big Nose Pokes
    The Thugletsx