|Bertie: the picture of innocence|
Well. She sent me an email the other day.
I know what you're thinking. About time she apologised for that dreadful behaviour. Perhaps she's finally learning some manners.
Not one bit of it.
The email simply read as follows:
Trousers, leaves, pansies (eaten rather than chewed), dressing gown, cardboard boxes, woollen hats, twigs, feet of antique tables, flex, toilet paper, flower pots, combs, remembrance poppies, firewood, shoes, boots, matches, fir cones, newspapers.
This is, of course, a list of household objects she's chewed up so far. I think I'm supposed to be impressed.
Is this some sort of a contest Bunty?
Well let me make a few things quite clear:
1. I too have chewed just about every single item on your pathetic little list, and then some.
2. If Gail had owned any antique furniture, then I certainly would have had a go at that too.
3. Did you see what I did to that egg box?
4. Ditto the dog flap.
Finally Bunty, I would like to bet you half a dozen choice lamb shanks that you can't compete with my proudest achievement to date.